The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!) by Anna Pulley and Kelsey Beyer

The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!)
by Anna Pulley and Kelsey Beyer
Pages: 161
Date: April 19 2016
Publisher: Flatiron books
Series: None

Review
Rating: 4
Read: December 27 2016

Some great funny humorous time spent reading this book. Though, admittedly, there were a few aspects that I either didn’t ‘get’ or felt were a little repetitive (some of which corresponded to stereotypes – like, do all lesbians actually spend all their time deconstructing the patriarchal society while munching on all organic vegetarian tofu “pizza” while drinking ‘lite’ beer? I kind of got the impression that they do from the many many haiku’s dealing with those subject matters. Yes? Oh. Okay.)

Re: didn’t get - the ‘lesbian sex is or isn’t this way’ I got, the ‘if lesbian porn was accurate’ I didn’t get (I get the idea, I didn’t understand the haiku directed toward that issue). Ooooh, I misread the section heading. Now I get it. I thought it was ‘if porn was real’ or maybe ‘if lesbian porn was real’, which has a different connotation in my mind than ‘if lesbian porn was accurate.’ Vaguely different. That or the paragraph saying that much of the poetry was based on real porn. Made me think I was going to read porn parody – as in . . . I don’t know, awkward sex? Something like that. Which is maybe what I got. Maybe I was just tired during that section? No matter. Example below.

Two blondes engage in some much-sought-after pussy play
Susan and Chris knew
how understaffed the local
no-kill shelter was.

Some highlights:
Some haiku - behind spoilers as some might like to read them in the book for themselves.

This crush, relentless.
I am like a cat and you're
a laser pointer.

(how to pick up) The too-cool-for-this-bar lesbian
Engage her in a
contest to see who can roll
her eyes the hardest.

Awkward lesbian unicorn proposition
Has anyone told
you that you make them HORNy?
They have? Okay, great.

What to say to all women after sex
You must be famished!
Let’s wear loose pants and raid the
Fridge like we are bears.

How to break up with a lesbian
Tell her that you loved
the Star Wars prequels more than
the originals.

Break-ups and the time in between
Change your dildo’s name
to Obama. Have the
audacity to hope.

Great ex-pectations
You are forever
Waiting for that toaster that
You have been promised.

The difficult art of flirtation
To the wrong women:
you’re predatory. The right
ones: you’re TOO SUBTLE.

Serve her breakfast in
bed. Tell her it’s not ‘cause you
don’t own a table.