Suburban Sex Kitten Adventure by Amanda Clover

Suburban Sex Kitten Adventure by Amanda Clover

My rating:  4.65 of 5 stars

I go into this choose your own adventure story knowing two things (then spotting a third before I begin): 1) I've read these types of books by this author before and I either find them to be meh, or interesting, so this one might fall somewhere in between; 2) I 'play' a woman in this one - unlike many of these types of 'you' books; 3) 'features paths for straight, lesbian, and bisexual readers.' - so that sounds interesting. *nods*

Right, so, let's actually open the book, eh? Or click on it or whatever.

Okay, so, book opens with me stirring awake after at least one erotic dream (about a werewolf with some interesting moves - no, it wasn't shown, I was told I woke up with this still impacting my nipples).

Okay, so I'm bouncy and I have no problem bouncing around without a bra on and with my rather engorged nipples poking at my tank top. Bouncy's good. I don't want to be depressed. *nods*

Right, sorry, so book opens with you getting the paper and while out there you 'take in' who your neighbors are. I assume this is setting up for a 'go for person x' type chooses to be made. Oh, and yes, she, sorry I did make a comment, in my character's head, about how need actual physical newspaper in this day an age to find summer job.

hehehe, after 'reminding myself' about all the hot looking people around me (well, and a few less hot people), my first choice is to allow myself to get into the car of a real pervy guy who basically just offered money for sex. Right there in the street. mmphs. eww.

Okay okay, I was going to try the lesbian path first, but I was curious. hehe. So I get in the car for some 'easy money' (what, it's a long tradition in lesbian circles for, at least, the femme to get money as a prostitute *nods* - creepy man in mercedes felt up my breasts, then sucked on them, then crashed into a cop car - so . . . that was interesting. hehe. And I didn't even have to touch him! Though I didn't get any money and I'm now an hours walk from home and/or a strip mall (odd - car ride didn't seem to be an hour long).

Gah. I really shouldn't have gone that direction, though. Because I'm out in my PJ's (which consists of a tank top and shorts, but whatever - they be PJ's because book say they PJ's) and haven't showered yet. I think I'm going to restart. I want to shower first before I do anything. mmphs. Gross. Wandering around without showering first. mmphs. hehe.

*Restarts - tells creepy dude in Mercedes to go to hell path*

Dang it - I want to go see what the hot Mrs. Davenport has in the way of 'chores' but . . I still haven't showered yet! mmphs. So . . . I go inside. I'll probably accidentally trip and break my neck or something by deciding to go inside. mmphs. Why I not showered yet? WHYYYYY?

Heh - now the author is talking to me through my own brain . . . um, I mean, whatever. 'Sure, you made the most boring choice. That doesn't mean the rest of your day has to be boring.' I just want to be showered and in clothing Author! Please let me clean myself up, please.

I shall now do the dance of joy - 'Your early morning has left you with the urge for a nice, hot bath'. Clean clean clean, I'm going to be cleaned up soon! Oh for .. . sake, stop teasing me with getting clean! Yes, nude dancing in an empty house sounds interesting, but for fuck sake, will you please let me clean up? For fuck sake. I promise I'll nude dance afterwards if you'd just fucking let me fucking clean up already! FUCK!

YYYYYYESSS! Bath choice! *pounds on the 'soak in the tube' option.

oh for fuck sake. So I just want to be clean, does that really make me 'a bigger wuss than you thought'. I"ll be naked, wet, probably with windows gapping for anyone to see me naked and wet, and I'll probably play the water massager thingie over my clit - so I'm a big wuss? pfft.

And now I'm referring to my 'kitty' as a separate 'thing' and that we are a team. pfft.

Hmms, things were getting interesting there - starting to have erotic feelings toward your female best friend but . . . doorbell interruption. hmms. Maybe it's the friend? Have fun with friend now? I clean now. *nods*

Oh neat - the 'me' had started 'playing with myself' with images to a man, but quickly morphed into thinking about Lucy, then when I ignored the doorbell, and couldn't get back into the fantasy with LUcy I went to . . . another woman to fantasize over. hmms . . neeeat.

Well now, then Lucy reappeared, while you are fantaizing about the librarian, and much fun was had by everyone. EVERYONE! WHY AM I SHOUTING! RIght, sorry. Was shouting in joy, anyway, just to reassure.

Old friend who you stopped being friends with after they came out and said you aroused them texts. Asks to hang out. After pleasuring myself to thoughts of mom's librarian friend and Lucy, fuck yes I'm going to hang out with Keisha.

Darn - the way this section is opening - I don't think it actually flows immediately after what I read. I mean, it could, just . . . it seems to imply things that haven't happened. *shrugs*

'You wear a tight gray top that hangs off one shoulder and reveals that you aren’t wearing a bra.' - okay, now I know this doesn't connect with previous section. I, or you, were sitting around in my sheer panties and bra when I decided whether to text Keisha back or not. Now I'm suddenly not wearing a bra? mmphs. (not that I actually want to wear a bra)

(Want to make sure I went back to look, yes I did put on a bra and panties. mmphs 'You finish drying off and put on a sheer black bra with embroidered lace cups and a matching pair of black lace thong panties.')

That's annoying me enough that I'm going to go back and try that Lovr app option instead. First I mean. At least as long as females are still available to flirt and stuff with. - And yep, this is the path I was supposed to go down, I don't mean I like it best, I mean - I just took a full body shot of myself in my bra and panties. Therefore letting me know this flows from last section. But, posting a full body shot of me in sheer underwear? mmphs.

Oh good, women avaiable (though only two of the four choices, and one of those two includes a man in there as well). So I go with the solo older woman option.

Ah, heh. So a little BDSM action is going to occur, eh? heh. The 41 year old says she's dominant and tender, and wants someone who isn't a brain dead bimbo but more of a naughty daughter (eww, incest).

----
Oops, well it's probably for the best that I forgot I was writing stuff while I read.

I didn't go down every path - I mostly tried to keep to the lesbian paths (except that first choice, but then the guy just felt up my boobs before getting arrested so - alls good) - and when I found myself with 'run away or pleasure a man' options, I always ran away. Some of them seemed downright bordering on rape-y - not there yet, but it might have gone there if I'd continued down the 'allow self to be blackmailed and used' paths. And I'm not just saying that - one of the paths I started down had me flashing a biker. Who broke into the house. I dodged him, but I imagine there's a way I might have gotten caught by him.

The lesbian paths were, for the most part, downright exciting, arousing, fun, and borderline satisfying on a romance level. The largest problem I had, and I tried to avoid it as much as possible, is that most paths seemed to want to go down a 'lick butthole' path that I had no desire whatsoever to go down. But, meh, I got around that as best as I could.

Sex: Of course. Lots and lots of arousing lesbian sex (and possibly bisexual/straight sex, but, as noted, I ran the other direction every time that popped up (again, except for that first choice, and I got away with just groping).


Rating: 4.65

September 17 2017





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Art Model Stand In by Maria X.

Art Model Stand In by Maria X.

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Second short story I've tried by this author. And another one involving a college student. This time at school - a student, Patricia, is not doing well in an art class. The teacher lets her know she can get extra credit by being a nude model. She does the extra credit work.

Adding a level of humiliation to the story (because, apparently, need to add humiliation to these type of stories needs to be multiple layered apparently) - Patricia is haing trouble because of the sexual nature of the class and Patricia's deeply religious upbringing (um, why she take the class, is elective). And if she didn't really know what the class would be about - she'd have learned within the first week, way within the zone of being able to drop the class. It annoys me when 'heaps of humiliation' are added for stupid reasons - it's not a bloody class she needed to take, she could have easily have dropped it so . . . - she'd rather fail the class than have her parents 'so ashamed of her' for dropping class (WTF is that about)? They wouldn't be ashamed of her failing but would be if she dorpped the class? mmphs.

"Patricia had had a crush on him since the first day of class." - oh, now I understand why she hadn't dropped the class.

This author seems to have something of a shaved fetish. This is the second story in which a character's being 'completely bare down there' has been a major issue/deal. First story the young woman was seen to have shaved everything and was called a slut. Here the young woman is asked to shave for the photo shoot. And she's acting very shocked and horrified. Shaving fetish. Did not know that existed. 'That seemed so lewd!'

'The only pubic hair she had was a small triangle just at the top of her slit.' - um, wha? This . . . she'd almost fainted from shock when she heard she had to shave everything off. And she barely has any hair down there to begin with? shesh.

Is waste an alternate spelling for waist? This is the second story with waste instead of waist.

Oh for fuck sake . . ..

I like nude model stories, but this was just crude. And included power imbalance/blackmail type of stuff. All that touching of that nude model - rough pulling on nipples, etc. Plus the woman didn't want to people to know who she was, and her 'friend' says her name revealing who she is, lying to her about the class knowing it is her despite the mask. Bah. pfft.

'It doesn't usually get that out of hand.' - even the teacher, who did nothing, knew it got out of hand.

Rating: 2.90

September 10 2017



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Jen's Humiliating Airport Adventure by Maria X.

Jen's Humiliating Airport Adventure by Maria X.

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


A woman in between the third and fourth year of college is heading home after the semester ended. She's apparently not traveled much and isn't too capable of handling security check-points. When something causes the scanning amchine to beep, the 'fat loser' (her words) came over asking if she had in metal. She, oddly, flips out and starts throwing around words like fuck ('I'm not wearing any fucking metal!').

Her attitude continues to not help things, the TSA agent(s) (later another one turns up), continues to try to handle the situation, until he decides to take advantage. After one of them places a hand on her shoulder, the young woman physically assaults them and ends up handcuffed. Lead away for more interrogation.

Apparently she forgot she had something metal stuck into her nipple. Easily forgotten, right? I say that because she mentioned her great body toned from swimming like 5 times, mentioned her hard nipples poking into her tight dress (after being forced to remove her bra) several times, but not once did she mention the metal piercing. Until, oops, there it is.

Right so - several words wrong, etc. etc. (like agin for again; waste for waist). Odd actions in this story. Like the male agents strip searching the female. The female constantly kicking the agents (in the stomach, in the groin) that kept making things worse. People acting shocked and calling her a slut for being shaved. In this day and age? Seriously? mmphs.

And then she spit on him. Bah. A TSTL character is supposed to be in an urban fantasy, or the like, not here (to stupid to live).

Story disturbed me.

Rating: 2.89

September 10 2017



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The Dancer by N.T. Morley

The Dancer by N.T. Morley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


It only took me three plus years to finish this book, but don't ask me what it is about. I couldn't tell you.

Well, in the literal sense I could say: a young woman goes to work at a certain strip club. A strip club that has another club 'upstairs' that has 'rougher' stuff for certain clients who bid on the chance to use the women kept in cages there - and to be more exact the 'rougher stuff' involves dominants and submissives, and the women, who can at times act like slaves, are both well paid and enjoy the action. So yes I could say that. Beyond that? Not sure. It's an adult sex book that followed one specific young dancer who may or may not be pansexual, and who may or may not have spent an inordinate amount of time being fucked in her ass in this book (and in every other body orifice).

This is more than 'just' a porn book. But barely. *shrugs* I don't really have anything to say about this book.

Rating: meh, hmm, 3? no clue

September 10 2017



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Lost in the Valley that Time Tries to Ignore by Monstrous Love

Lost in the Valley that Time Tries to Ignore by Monstrous Love

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I like when the 'you' in 'Choose your own adventure' books is female (specifically those books designed to be read by adults and likely to include 'adult situations', like this book here). Not often the case. Oh sure, many try to be vaguely unisex enough to be either but largely fail at that (most, though, just bluntly have the 'you', as in the character the reader is reading as 'you', be male). And by trying to be vaguely unisex - look at the book description here: I've had little sleep the last week so I might have missed it, but it doesn't actually say here that the 'you' is female, though if not female then the rest of the description would involve gay porn (since there's stuff about hunky men). The ovi. . . . ovi . . . whatever big long word that means something like 'implanting eggs' might imply that the 'you' is female but . . . well, that baby that exploded out from an egg from a human had been in implanted in a man (in Space Balls, which was a parody of Aliens, which I haven't seen, so I don't actually know if, but suspect, that it was a man who had an egg laid in him there as well). And, going weirdly into science and crap, it's the male sea-horse that carries the baby eggs. Or some crap like that. Maybe he just sits on them. Considering we are talking about a fragile looking floaty animal, I don't think we are talking about 'sitting on them'.

Did I mention I haven't had much sleep in the last week? What, you can tell? heh.

Okay then: This story involves a young woman who has the ability to see the future. Because of this she gets given a kind of crappy name that I can't recall at the moment but probably is or something like 'Little-Know-It-All'. Well, the reader is this young woman, and the action is from . . . the you point of view, as that young woman. Who goes out into the fantasy world to try to save her people. Who are: 1) human; 2) kind of weak ass humans.

She goes on a journey and encounters: winged men (male harpies), insect men (flies, ants, spider), snakemen, and a male dragon. Judging by this story, there are no women on this planet except that 'you' - sorry, I mean judging by the journey taken. Though 'she' knows there are women because they get mentioned. They just are never encountered for whatever reason.

There's some kind of weird paper and pencil thing you are supposed to do to read this story. Since I assumed the sexually explicit stuff would be down the 'oops, you rolled badly, or your numbers are too low/wrong', I tended (except once) to read the 'you failed and got fucked' path before journeying on. Figuring it'd be interesting to do it that way as I'd be reading both paths anyway. Granted I can't 'win' that way, but then I can't 'lose' either. Since I wasn't exactly playing 'the game' (and this does describe itself as a 'game book' or something like that).

Right, so - Sex - lots. With various male creatures, all of whom are in some way monstrous (see above, you know, the part where I mentioned winged men, insects, snakes, dragon - okay, just read these words in this side-comment).

Oh right - I gave this three stars but then upped it to 4. Well, to be more exact, I rated it 3.5, which normally means I put it on that shelf, then 'rate it' as 3 (since we don't have half stars and stuff). But I gave an extra .25 when I realized something - 1) the critters meet weren't exactly 'new' or 'original' but 2) are kind of 'unique' in either what I've read lately, or unique in that they weren't the 'common' critters normally faced (like, normally I tend to come across mostly shifters of some kind, vampires, and/or zombies (though, to be fair, zombies normally are the other kind that fall in horror genre not fantasy, though I've encountered one or two that were in the fantasy genre).

I'm about 88% confident that, if I were to read this review some time in the future, I'd squeal in horror and kill it with fire. For being.... um.... really incoherent. And every other word is probably mispelled. I probably should eat someday. I mean sleep. Though eating would be good too.

Rating: 3.67

July 6 2017



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The Seductress of Andromeda: A Sci Fi Choose Your Own Erotic Story by Callista J. Hawkes

The Seductress of Andromeda: A Sci Fi Choose Your Own Erotic Story by Callista J. Hawkes

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Ramblings as I started reading:
I knew going in that the 'you' would be male. So, that has to be factored in to any enjoyment from the book.

Before anything else can happen, before I can make any choices, a blonde woman strips in front of me on a space station as I watch. Then I get the choice: carry on or flee before finding self, possibly, in the brig.

Apparently I'm quite good at 'going down' on women. *nods* heh
---
Right, so I, the character I, got kicked out of the navy and turned to a life of bounty-hunting (description mentions smuggling as well but none of the paths I went down even hinted at the idea that I did anything other than bounty-hunting (and heists)).

I followed most of the paths. I think the only one I didn't follow is the one where I returned to my bunk without satisfying the blonde at the start of the book (2 reasons: 1: I'm already there - breaking the rules by being away from my bunk, and there probably was surveliance showing 'me' going to her place; 2: and now I don't remember reason 2 . . . ETA: I remember reason 2 now that I've 'finished off' the book by going down that path - the book description indicated that I was a bounty hunter/smuggler not that I was a naval officer. So 'obviously' I need to be 'kicked out' and so . . . . (there were ways I could still have been kicked out to start off my life of barely legal existence (well, I stole my ship while leaving the academy so not barely legal at that)).

Entertaining read.

Rating: 3.92

June 2 2017



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Sin in the City of Angels: A Noir Choose Your Own Erotic Story by Callista J. Hawkes

Sin in the City of Angels: A Noir Choose Your Own Erotic Story by Callista J. Hawkes

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


As might be expected for a erotic noir private eye book set in the 1940s, the 'you' of the story is: a) a private detective; b) male.

Stop me if you've heard this before: A 'classy broad' walks a private dicks office. He's half-way to drunk. She's disdainful of her surroundings, richly dressed, and flashing more skin than you'd expect. She bluntly states that she believes her husband is plotting to murder her. The dick is skeptical, but is willing to hear her out (she does look rich, and he is a seedy private eye).

Classic opening, eye? Well, that's how the story opens. The opening can then go one of two ways (and I'm not talking about a choose your adventure book, I mean this type of plot): detective hired to find evidence of the husband trying to murder the wife; detective hired to act as a body guard; or the third way - detective either hired or lured into 'taking out' the husband before he can 'get' the wife (less often a private eye story line, the third, than a 'random stranger' or 'boyfriend/neighbor-on-the-side' story line). Nothing new yet, nor any decisions to be made.

heh. First decision is 'Take the case or turn the case down'. Sooo . . I know! I'll turn the case down! *clicks* She begs. I'm offered a choice again. I'm mean! I turn her down again! And . . . . 'The End', of course. hehe. Shesh, and this is the first decision point? Obviously 'turn it down' leads to 'the end'.

*goes back to begging, 'takes the case' then snorts at what "I" say when I take it*

"I'm a sucker for a nice pair of legs."

Strangely the comment doesn't lead to the woman to hurriedly strip off her dress and leap across the desk. So, it's going to be harder work, eh?

Hmm. So "my" first name is "Sam". Gee, where'd I hear a private dick with the first name of Sam before? Or, for that matter, a private eye with the last name of "Marlowe". So . . . I'm Sam Marlowe, eh? Sam 'Philip' Marlowe 'Spade'.

(one of my confusions, going in, is why this is set in the 1940s instead of the 1930s or 1920s. Shouldn't a 'real man' like this Marlowe dude be in the army? (or other military branch), there is a war on afterall)

Ah, my second decision point (well, after restarting) - fuck my assistant or tell her to do what I asked and go investigate the public records. Naturally I . . ..

hmm, admittedly having the 'classy broad' return 'during the act' and having to push th assistant beneath your desk and then finding her continue her actions while the client talked is both cliche and interesting.

Not sure it matters but: client is 26; assistant is early-ish twenties. Sam Spade, I mean Philip . . . Sam Marlowe is ... older.

'put to use the undercover training you'd learned working for the OSS during the war.' Oh, post war then. I saw '1940s' and got the wrong impression then.

Hmm, after making my private dick be mean and refuse the case, I'm now making him super horny. And kinda a bad detective. hehe. But but . . . women! (I was going to say attractive women, but the next one up Sam makes a point of noting is 'plain').

Super super horny. Ooh! See! I'm gathering clues as I . . . act super horny. I got clues I did! *humps woman, notices stuff* I not bad detective!

"So big."
"I bet you say that to all the guys."
Slap. Caress of dick's dick.

Wait, no, the only part from the book is "So big." Then 'Magnificient".

Of all the sex acts in all the book, the one with the client is kind of . . . boring, frankly. *boredly reads; sees has to make decision about what sex act to perform next. Pulls out gun. Removes all but one bullet. Spins gun. Remembers don't have that gun. or a gun. Flips coin and presses "slip inside her" (too bad 'drink whiskey and get the fuck out of there already' isn't an option).

Dames. Compliement your big magnificient dick and make you use it. mmphs.

And . . . wha? See, problem with choose your own adventure stories - the parts don't always align right. Ah well. I mean, yeah, I'm about to 'slip into her', but . . . the wording implies something else had occurred prior. Which didn't occur. Because I went a different path. Having me direct the sex action certainly is a spin on 'you choose' book.

Most books seem to be:
A) you stab the man in the butt;
B) you shot him in the head;
C) you drink your flask.

results:
A) He was a vampire. You're dead now.
B) Good job! How'd you know he was a zombie?
C) Instead of your anticipated whiskey, you drink pure undiluted holy water. The man attempts to bite you. Explodes.

Instead, here in this book, I get:
A) tell her to put it in her mouth;
B) bend her over.

And then:
A) sixty-nine her or
B) stick it in her.

hmms. There seems to be more description about the man, the 'you' , than the women. All this talk about big magnificient thick dicks. Bulging and stuff. Less about the mousy plain women. Odd, that.

Oh god, stop that already. I get it already. You are stroking the man's ego by talking about how super huge his dick is. "You're so much bigger than my husband. I've felt so full!" - gah. I get it already. Stop with all the massive cock talk already. I fear I've overused the word 'already".

Okay, now the book is just fucking with me. NOw my decision is to come in her or, OR, come on her breasts. I'm so aroused, so exited, this book, ooh ooh. gah. I think I'm going to fall asleep.

I have a suspicion this might be more exciting for a man to read. Well, maybe depending on the paths chosen. Then again, even so, it is still a man who is 'you' so . . . ..

Shesh, private dick-me is such a smirking smug prick. gah.

Yes . . . of course the woman enjoyed you erupting onto her breasts. I fear that deciding to make my detective horny . . . I've rapidly grown tired of him. I should have continued the 'must solve case' trejectory I had initially gone down. pfft. When the bloody hell is this particular scene going to be over so I can redirect things back to the mystery?

Oh for fuck sake - yes, after fucking the man's wife, why don't you drop her off at her house gate? Nothing at all strange or odd about some strange man dropping off the wife like that. None. NONE!

heh. I can tell it's after midnight. I've gone batty.

---
Well, first man visited in this book. Wonder if there's some way I can turn it erotic, eh? heh. Then there'd be no one I'd be sexually interested in! Yay!

Hmm. Well, that . . .. hmm.

--
Good grief. I think the book just had me have my *counts* 12th whiskey. shesh.
---

And now, without me able to make any decisions one way or another (shesh, before I was directing the sex, now I can't go anywhere but here, watching . . . I feel slimy and ill - yeah, now "I'm" a slimy fake talent agent about to take advantage of a woman. eek).

Gah. Why did I have a choice for every bloody woman before now? Now that I've finally grown weary of all this horny detective stuff, I can't dodge a woman. When I finally get choices again, it's how to fuck her. shesh. And the choices! FUck her feet, fuck her ass, or have her stroke you while licking your ass. I'm . . I'm fuck me, why am I reading this again? That's right, got tired of dying every choice I made in that zombie book. So . . . let's read a noir erotica! I probably won't die there! Except from all the gross sex (well, and yes, gross. I have no choice here I"m comfortable with. NO FEET SEX! . . . NO RIMMING! . . . . NO ANAL PLAY . . and I'm left with . . . no fucking thing. oh, if I turned the page I could have avoided all this. Though still sex, though it's 'traditional'). Yay?

hehehe - so, 'traditional' I hope you aren't too straight laced to enjoy a blowjob? Sister, you know nothing, nothing! Why, what I've done today . . .. But no, fuck that, no blowjob from you! I don't know where your mouth has been! So . . I'll . . um . . slip it inside you. *Nods*.

Bloody hell. Now "I" am all about how big my dick is. shesh. for fuck sake.

At least I get to read the response, is good response. *nods*

"Uh huh, you've ruined me for al other men," she replied dryly.

And quickly, that mood, leaves.

Ah, the choices I'm given. The Choices! Now it's back to 'come inside' or 'come on breasts'. That's it. 'Run screaming in other direction' isn't even in the cards. pfft.

------
I'm getting tired of all the 'choices' that consist of nothing but a 'continue' button to click. shesh.
---------
For a guy who spent time parachuting around Europe during the war, 'you' sure have a lot of height/vertigo issues.
----------
Well, first mistake I've noticed. For some reason the author acidentally used 'Vandergraaf as Valentina D'Abruzzo's last name at 23% into the story. *shrugs*
-----------
Bloody hell, this became a romance in the end. heh.

---
This was actually rather entertaining. Well written but for that one mistaken name.

Rating: 3.75

May 31 2017


ETA: I did notice how the book seemed to develop - the mystery answer but chose not to comment on it (view spoiler)[of course it's because of 'evil' lesbians. pfft (hide spoiler)]



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Lipstick by Aimee Nichols

Lipstick by Aimee Nichols

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Second story by this author read by me.

Ange is invited out to a hen night. Or to Ellen's hen night. Dinner and 'raging'. Hens. Fight club. What have I gotten myself into?

Apparently antisocial Ange, while feeling mildly 'enthusiastic', once the party date actually rolled around, decided to dress down. Which meant making sure she was wearing clean clothing. And wearing her 'signature lipstick, a bright scarlet red called Splendour.'

During the dinner portion of the evening, Ange meets a woman named 'Kate' who looks as out of place as Ange feels at the hen party. They strike up a conversation and stuff. Stuff includes a little rubbing of foot against legs under the dinner table. And might also include a bit of thrusting hands under other women's skirts (less horrifying that I just put it). All of this taking place in a fancy restaurant, mind.

Nice little 'romance'. Curious what something longer by this author might be like.

Oh, and, I'll just off-hand note - quite exciting this story was.

Right, that's enough of that.

Rating: 4.5*

December 14 2016

* high likelihood I'm overrating here, maybe, probably. Especially since it currently has an overall rating of 3.03 off of 120 ratings.






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Wakeup Call by Aimee Nichols

Wakeup Call: An Erotic Short Story by Aimee Nichols

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Confusing. No, not the story. The review situation. I wrote a review for this story, posted it, read something else, wrote a review for that story, posted it, and now today I look and see that the review for that other story is in both review boxes. And the review for this story is missing. Annoying.

I read two short stories by this author late last night. This one and the 'Lipstick' one.

This one involves a woman named . . . gah. No idea now. I lost the review and there are no names in the book description. I know the story, I felt the story, names weren't important, though, so neither of the important names dug themselves deep into my brain.

Okay, so, I try to recreate.

A woman works at a cosmetic counter at a store. Based on the book cover and various other tidbits, I get the impression that this story is set somewhere around the 1950s . . . except I do not think phones worked that way in the 1950s. Hmms. Maybe? No matter. Quite modern language used, antiquated outfit and phone. *shrugs*

So, eventually I'll get there. So, a woman works at a cosmetic counter at a store. Numerous (or several?) people in the store, but none near her, or wanting her attention. Which is good because she is very distracted. Because she's thinking of a woman. And desiring to hear her voice. She's aroused by the idea of hearing that woman's voice (there was a specific phrase used, but all that is coming to me at the moment is 'honey and gravel' but that can't be correct).

Suddenly that phone she's been starring at rings. Woman excitedly picks up the phone, could it be? Could it be that woman she wants to hear? But alas, it's some customer. She, barely, handles the call. Ends call. This is too much, she thinks, and immediately dials her lover's number. Just to hear her voice. And I'm reminded immediately that this isn't the 1950s, because the woman answers with the information that she had been asleep, dreaming of being a sex maiden (sexy maid? I forget now exact phrase) of Anglina Jolie. And that knifes were involved.

The two women then proceed to have a graphic and explicit discussion of what the two would do to each other if they happened to be near each other instead of connecting via telephone. Recall that one is in a store, in public.
...
Quite interesting and strange story ([admittedly I left everything after the ... from the review that was supposed to go to that other story; so strange story? *thinks* Well, I suppose it's strange that the costume the woman is wearing in the store is described in a way that sounds like it came from the 1930s/40s or 1950s; yet there's mention of Jolie]). Ended too soon, I want more ([again, a line that went to a different review; I do not necessarily want more - it is an interesting snippet/look into someone's erotic life, though it might be interesting to read more about the specific characters here]).

Rating: 3.75 ([I do not recall the exact rating I originally gave, but the shelves indicate that I gave something around 3.75, so I'll leave that as the rating for this story])

December 14 2016



View all my reviews

Doctor's Orders edited by N.T. Morley

Doctor's Orders: Erotic Tales of Extreme Medical Power Play by N.T. Morley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


N.T. Morley - Exam Room 3
MFF, Doctor/patient play (obviously), examination/inspection/fondling, humiliation, bondage

A woman goes to a doctor's office wearing just a raincoat, shoes, garter belt and stockings. Then sits in an exam room without her raincoat. Sitting in the stirups. Waiting for the doctor. When he arrives she tells him that she wants a full exam. He takes in her nudity, and obvious arousal, he smiles wickedly.

Based on 'the photos she'd sent' this isn't actually a woman visiting a random doctor.

She complains of 'hypersexuality'. He replies with a 'I'll be the judge of that.'

The doctor appears to be vaguely limited in intelligence. What with his reply to the woman's hypersexuality self-dignoses. In which he says 'A word to the wide, Miss - . . .' Ah. It is possible that he is being mean. Maybe the lead female is actually fat. Hadn't gotten that impression before now. So the woman is fat, or the doctor is lacking in some intelligence.

When the woman wouldn't stop moaning an lunging at him, the doctor restrains her. With various bondage items, ball-gags padlocked, collar (again padlocked), leash - padlocked to a chair (lots of padlocks here - the padlock industry must make a fortune), straps on legs, writs, padlocks added. etc. Then knees padlocked to straps as well - spread wide (When it turned out she could still close her knees).

Ah - the doctor, after asking the female nurse to join him, looked to see if the woman gave the 'safeword' finger thingie. So - a) safewords in use; b) this is in fact a preplaned bondage session.

(pffts - a) 'No need for lube' - doctor to nurse - location 152; b) 'Then Jessie felt Marie's lube-slick fingers coming out of her' - patient (Jessie) and nurse (Marie) - slick fingers, sure, lube - slick? - location 160. - oh, the 'lube' is 'natural lube' to be used to help with 'anal play'. I suppose an argument could be made there. Though . . ..)

Rating: 4.23

December 10 2016

Managed Care by Corey Claire
MFM

A story about a nurse who provides 'special care'. And the person who finds her very naughty for doing so.

*shrugs*

Rating: 2

December 10 2016

Medical Attention by Skye Black

already read - had given it a rating of 4

White Coat and Stethocope by Ronald Keller
MF

huh - 'osteopathy a branch of medical practice that emphasizes the treatment of medical disorders through the manipulation and massage of the bones, joints, and muscles.' Hadn't realized such a branch existed.

Right, so, a doctor is dating someone. She drops by near the end of the day. Ends up in a paper gown in an exam room waiting for her boyfriend to find her, then tells him that she's there for her exam.

And so, he gives her one.

The doc tells her that she has priapism (persistent and painful erection of the penis).

Rating: 3.3

December 10 2016

Examining Gilly by Naomi Taylor
MF, spanking

The woman has gone to the doctor because she's had a tingling in her bum for a longish time. And she's embarrased by it (and or having to mention it). The tingling/itch/etc. grows and grows, and itching doesn't help, though slapping can cause temporary relief.

And so the doctor goes about 'curing her' by spanking her. Right-o. hmms.

Rating: 3.65

December 10 2016

Shock Therapy by Natasha Ray
FF, MF, Shock therapy

A female doctor (who the author felt the need to linger on how cut her top was, and how tight her pants were) is running an experimental test into using shock therapy with couples. Oh, and apparently also important, the doctor is very very short.

'She stood there, legs slightly spread, displaying to the young graduate student that the swelling, pink mount of her sex was shaved smooth as Patrick Stewart's head.' - squeaks. *reading read reading, description of woman's 'mount' . . . reading 'Patrick Stewart's head'. squeaks - giggles uncontrollably*

Oh for fuck sake. 'Normally inclined to be intimate only with women, Dr. Quarry nonetheless found her gaze lingering unbidden over the quite impressive length and girth of the older man's package' - a) yes an overly large penis might be worth taking a moment to examine, clinically I suppose; b) later words seem to lead to why I said 'oh for fuck sake', the part wherein the woman who is only intimate with women, is apparently turned on by an overly large penis (you know, the part where she's becoming breathless and picturing mounting the fucking thing). Because, as we all know, what women really want are really huge dicks. For mounting. And sucking. Because . . . something something all women want dicks in them. mmphs.

Rating: 3.83

December 10 2016

Overall rating of 3.502



View all my reviews

Rocked by the Band by Ruby Mars

Rocked by the Band
by Ruby Mars
Pages: 37
Date: April 19 2015
Publisher: Twisted Pair Publishing
Series: None

Review
Rating: 2.74
Read: October 9 2016

I got a recommendation for this short story and decided to give it a look-see (eventually decided). Haven't read the author before and I'm not really sure the book falls inside my wheel-house . . um, things I like to read.

As I can tell from the description and title - the book will involve a BBW - Big Beautiful Woman, and her sexual adventures with an entire band. A band called 'Lipstick Revolver'.

And so, away I go . . .. And immediately leap into something I dislike. heh. mmphs. So the story is entirely a flashback. Since it starts of with some much older woman finding a photograph of her naked on a bed. Um. Yay? Don't particularly like when things are 'defused' like that, but whatever.

Oh bloody hell. So her husband has a fantasy of watching his wife, the star of this book, with multiple men. Just what am I reading here? I expected a woman with a band. Not voyeurism and whatever 'husband watching wife fucking' is called. mmphs. This be a short story! Stop being in 'present' time! mmphs.

And so, the wife tells the story about her time with many men to her obviously excited husband . . . and as that idea is thrust into readers minds, we drift back to 1988 when these events occurred.

*drifts*

Young gorgeous slutty woman goes to Lipstick concert, drags along her fat friend. While at concert, gorgeous one keeps flashing her bare breasts at the stage. Eventually she gets the results she wanted, and the lead singer spots her. After the show gorgeous one gets a backstage pass. Fat one is told to hit the road. But gorgeous one notes she isn't going backstage without fat one. So, reluctantly, roadie gives fat one a pass. Fat one, recall, is the main character.

Roadie basically forces fat one to give him a blow job. To thank him. For letting her backstage. Um. Gross. Need more context to know if this is borderline rape or not. I'll side on 'not'. Though his forcing her to 'receive his semen' (instead allowing her to lift her head, like she tried to do) kind of pushes this closer to forced activity, you know, eh?

Second act was at least was more of Michelle's idea. Marginally. Well, second almost act that got interrupted. And all the acts with each band member was agreed to by all parties.

Eww - husband made his wife agree to fuck a tribute band. eww. While he watched.

Right, so that's over. I've no problem with the writing. The entire event being a flash-back was kind of annoying - especially as it wasn't Michelle thinking back on the night, but Michelle telling her really excited husband about the night. And then that part about the tribute band (which didn't occur in this story, just the promise to do it). The sex didn't do anything for me - I mean, the most 'exciting' part was when Michelle was able to see her gorgeous friend completely naked. But that wasn't actually 'exciting' so you can probably guess how excited I was for the rest of the action. Was a little to . . . mechanical I guess I could say.

Was okay story. Did nothing for me positively or negatively. I suppose the best part of the story is the part where now I can say I've read a 'groupie' story. Vague idea I've already done that, but whatever.

(Note: technically I should put this on a fmmmm shelf, not a fmmm shelf, but I do not wish to create a new shelf for this story. Plus, I think there were only three men involved at the most . . . hmm . . active point.)

October 9 2016

Named and Shamed by C.P. Mandara

Named and Shamed
by C.P. Mandara
Pages: 160
Date: February 6 2014
Publisher: Chimera Books
Series: Pony Tales (#4)

Review
Rating: 3.5
Read: February 21 to October 2 2016

225 days to read a 160 page book, eh? heh. I read erotica slowly if it longer than a certain number of pages. In short small gulps.

It has been way too long since I read the first three stories in this series, so the fact that we are only on day three by the time this book ends means something, but I'm not sure what. Since this is book 4 in the series. Time moves super slowly.

So. A bratty, rich bitch went on vacation if I recall correctly. But was tricked, ended up at a pony farm - the kind with ponyboys and ponygirls. And she's going to be made one of them. That's the lead up to this story here - which consists mostly of Petals (her pony name) having straps put on, taken off, put on, spanked, dragged around in and outside, soaped with rough soap; alternating forced orgasms with forced . . . um . . right, denial of orgasms. Or, in other words, not much is happening. Then her ass virginity, along with whoever it will be who will be her trainer are separately auctioned off to round off the book.

Meanwhile - a seemingly random group of people have their POV's in addition to Jenny aka Petals. We have Lyle, Mark Mathews, Kyle, Isabella (or whatever her name is), one of Mark's non-blonde 'secretaries' . . . and. .. hmm. Possibly that's it. The non-Jenny moments are brief snippets that intrude and kind of feel like intrusions from another story/book - especially the ones that occur in the outside world.

Interesting book. If it had ended differently I'd have immediately acquired the next in the series. The 'drama' that ends this one, and begins the next (as per the 'next time' segment) is an annoying distraction that I'm not sure I want to read any time soon.

October 2 2016

The Rock Cocks by Brad Brown and Leslie Brown

The Rock Cocks
by Brad Brown and Leslie Brown
Pages: 215
Date: 2016
Publisher: Hivemill
Series: The Rock Cocks (1)

Review
Rating: 4.5
Read: September 30 2016


Note: The spoilers are pictures from the comic. Since they contain nudity, I've hidden them behind spoiler tags.

Review lifted from the individual parts:

Track 1:
Randomly ran across this just now. Not much to say - it's about two people who I hope are not related (since they kind of fuck a lot) who are attempting to make it in the music business as 'Rock Cocks'. This specific 'track' here involves the couple 1) losing (female) or not acquiring (male) a job; 2) having their phone contract expire; 3) get evicted from their apartment.

So they decide to hit the road in their van. And basically become homeless while still trying to get their band up an running. Mostly by busking (performances on the street with a hat near them while they look dirty and starving).

Much nudity and sex. It was never actually stated, but I believe the 'track' (the first part of this 'thingie') started with them performing in a strip club. Though, considering people seem to like to spontaneously pull their clothing off, masturbate and or fuck when the 'Rock Cocks' perform . . . I'm not 100% certain if that first performance was at a strip club or not.

I'm probably mixing the story line of track 1 and 2 because I didn't realize I was reading 'separate thingies' or I'd have paid more attention. One just goes into another. As is what happens, you know, with a webcomic.

http://www.therockcocks.com/comic/page-1-nsfw-track-1-start

You can tell what you are getting yourself into just by seeing the first page.

Track 2:

Right, so this is 'track two'. Not sure of exact split between track one and two as I read both at same time without realizing I should pay attention to breaks.

Okay then - wherever the break occurs, I know this one finds the music duo on the road in their van, busking for money, dirty, showering in public, and accidentally exposing themselves because they forget to wash their clothing before washing themselves (though there still would have been the issue of one or the other being dirty - their body after washing the clothing if they had washed clothing first, or the clothing if they washed their body first).

Right, so, this one finds them on the street playing - well the woman at least. The man sees a sign for a $1000 music prize and so they are going to try for it (which is also the inspiration or cleaning themselves up - as in literally cleaning - with water and stuff; though not cleaning up as in 'cleaning up their act' since both perform showing lots of skin. Man topless. Woman almost topless in her barely there top which does not actually cover her breasts all the time.)

Apparently their music is so good that it causes people to strip and play with themselves or with others nearby.

Track two begins on page 36. http://rockcocks.slipshine.net/comic/page-36

- busking

- performing almost nakedly.

Track 3:
So. Track three. That certainly was a lot quicker to read than I expected. 25 pages just flew by (it felt a lot less than 25 pages, I'm not sure I can trust the page count listed here).

So - Carol Hopkins and Stephen Guerrero (they signed a contract and their names were visible, otherwise I'm not sure I'd ever have picked up on what their names might be) get signed by an agent. Confused because I thought he was a album owner in a prior 'track'. Now he's an agent? No matter. They've got a year contract.

Not much happened this time. Most of the nudity was that Sterling guy standing around pantsless with a bulging erect cock while having a meeting with the Rock Cocks (though there were at least two 'strips' wherein he apparently had pants on again, then they fell off again *shrugs).

Track 4:
Let's see - the duo is all signed up and off to 'Redd's place in a limo. Going to record an album. And that's basically it.

Track 5:
It's a month later, they've made an album, released it, had a celebratory orgy, and the 'blonde bitch' mentioned earlier in the book makes an appearance.

She, it turns out, is with a rival music album. No idea what her story is, or why Roxanne Richards and Seth Sterling are in some kind of rivalry (Seth's gay - and I'll take a moment to note that gay sex occurs in this book (there's also a bunch of straight sex, and lesbian sex - though, obviously (or not), Seth isn't involved with that other sex); while Roxie's apparently at least bisexual, or, potentially, straight - so it isn't a lover's tiff kind of thing.)

Roxanne, by the way, is quite . . . hmms . . well look for yourself:

Right. So, book over. Lots of nudity, sex, and stuff occurred. When the duo are last left before the end, they were heading off to some nudist place in Arizona to have someone there record a video. But, if that occurs, it'll have to be something occurring in the next book.

September 30 2016

Sleepless Nights by Winter Lynx

Sleepless Nights
by Winter Lynx
Pages: 19
Date: June 28 2013
Publisher: Self
Series: None

Review
Rating: 3
Read: September 2 2016

Vaguely distracting that I couldn't figure out age level of the participants. Context seemed to make everything appear to be happening to high school students. Then there is a mention of a ‘roommate’ which seems more college level (or boarding school). Not really important but it was a distraction.

Okay, story – Brianna has her wrist wrapped up in bandages. Injured it playing tennis, she says. Though in reality she injured it because she can’t stop masturbating. And now she is having trouble having her nightly orgasm because her less dominate hand is just not good enough.

She explains this, well the tennis part, to Tiffany. Another woman. In the story.

Bah, everything is kind of foggy detail wise. Are they in a high school? Tennis camp? College? Acting camp? Band camp? Do women just bluntly ask other women, while in a locker room changing into swimsuits ‘can I touch your breasts?’ And then proceed to have both grope the others breasts? Yes? No? Have I been in the wrong locker rooms? I have haven’t I?

And what’s this about some play? And why the fuck does it make any difference if her wrist is in a bandage? Hide the fucking bandage and act in the play – what the fuck logic is going on in this story? Can’t act in the play because of a bum wrist, so she gets tasked with . . . using her wrist to make scenery? So there’s a scene of her painfully drawing, with I imagine, crayons. WTF?

Stupid story. I gave it 3 stars because it was kinda hot. Even if stupid.

September 2 2016

Repose by Genevieve Kurtiz

Repose
by Genevieve Kurtiz
Pages: 43
Date: January 28 2016
Publisher: Self
Series: Repose

Review
Rating: 5.0 out of 5.0
Read: August 6 2016


My first story by this author.

Hmms. What to think. Opens with a young woman on a trolley riding along mostly by herself (there's the driver and some 'drunken street bum'), so she plays with herself. And I do not mean with cards, kindle, or yo-yo. No, something more physical.

Claire liked to be touched - and she was certainly touching herself now.

- Genevieve Kurtiz. REPOSE (Kindle Location 51).

I kind of hope that this story is meant to be taken as pure fantasy. What with the way the main character, Claire, seems to 1) put herself in dangerous situations (rubbing herself agaisnt bums; walking down dark alleys in bad neighborhoods by herself - see below); 2) cause accidents (the trolley driver mentioned above caught on to what she was doing; she noticed his notice, and made things easier for his viewing; whereupon he promptly drove the trolley into a car trying to cross the tracks.

Claire burst through the heavy front doors to the school which were actually at the side of the shambling old warehouse, down a dimly lit alley, flanked by a tall chain link fence and an overflowing dumpster crowned with a half-burnt mattress.

Genevieve Kurtiz. REPOSE (Kindle Locations 99-101). - Claire wandering dangerous areas barely dressed and smelling of sex.

*shakes self*

Okay, so, this is a quite short story involving a woman who likes being seen, touched, etc. Likes, as the opening noted above, to be seen while she's on the bus, though, more specifically, she likes being watched while she's naked in extreme poses. No, not on street corners - on a stage with people around, drawing. She's a life model. A nude art model. She gets off on it. Literally.

Something I didn't realize until the 67% mark, though, is that this is actually part one of a full length seralized novel. I knew then because 'part 1' ended right there at 67%. Now, mind, I knew this was a part 1. I just thought it was a series of short stories. Not a series of bits from a longer work. No matter, I really enjoyed the free taste I was given. There was even a bit of unexpected 'lesbianism' (well, while she's on stage a blonde dressed all in black touches her in intimate places - of course there's no indication that the woman actually is interested in women, and no indication that Claire's into women - more than liking to be touched, and that woman had hands. That touched. Hence the little '' around lesbianism).

August 6 2016

Liberated
by Gun Brooke
Pages: Unknown
Date: August 13 2005
Publisher: Self
Series: None
URL: http://gbrooke-fiction.com/fiction/original/shortstories/liberated.htm

Review
Rating: 5.0 out of 5.0
Read: July 30 2016

Ginny Soderstrom, ER medical secretary, has been having a very bad day. What with being late, coffee accidents, lots of work, and, most importantly for her persent circumstances, being short of cash. Otherwise she might not have ended up with her arm stuck in a mail slot. Didn't have enough cash, you see, to pay a locksmith. So . . . stuck in a door she found herself at the start of this story.

And then, to add insult to injury, the last woman Ginny wants to find her in that situation, finds her in that situation. A woman by the name of Patricia Edmond.

But then Patricia has to go and help her, and completely change Ginny's perception of her.

--
I was randomly wandering various websites and happened to notice several names I recognized. One of which was Gun Brooke. And I saw that there was this free story so I got it. Then, seemingly without any control on my part, I found myself devouring said story - it should be noted that it isn't the only free story I got; it's just the only one that pulled me in and made me read it immediately.

I rather enjoyed this short story, unexpectedly so on two fronts - the story, maybe only my perception of it, seemed a lot freer than others I've read by Brooke, less stiff; and I accidentally stumbled onto erotica. It's odd how that sometimes happens. You read something because you recognize the author, the next thing you know two women are finding pleasure in each other. And I got pulled along for the ride. An enjoyable ride it was to.

Of course it should be noted that this is a short story, very brief little glimpse into two people's lives, and just a moment in time. Nothing big, nothing grand, just a moment in time. Just kind of a warning for anyone coming along behind me to not expect lots of words and lots of story. Sometimes, though, brief glimpses at a moment in time is all that's needed.

ETA: hmms. I just now read the description for this story on GoodReads. Um, what I read has no connection what so ever to what is written as a description for this short story. Though what I read is named Liberated, is by Gun Brooke, and was released August 13 2005. I have no idea what story the description on Goodreads refers to.

ETA2: I just clicked on the link in the Goodreads description. Do you know what I found? The exact same story I read. No idea what is going on here re: description, because the people mentioned in it, and the situation they face, have no connection to Brooke's Liberated story.

ETA3: the description on Goodreads is for a different story, now that I look at other Brooke stories on her website. It is describing 'Sheridans's Fate'. So, we need someone to fix the description to:

After the day from hell, Ginny finds herself locked out of her apartment. Surely you can reach the inside lock through the mail box slot? When she realises she is stuck, the last thing she needs is the help of her intimidating neighbour, who also happens to be incredibly attractive.
Originally posted as a Radclyffe Author Challenge story.

Short story, completed August 13, 2005.

July 30 2016

Dominatrix 2 by Aaron Dennis

Dominatrix 2
by Aaron Dennis
Pages: 24
Date: May 2 2016
Publisher: Self
Series: Dominatrix (2nd in series)

Review
Rating: 3.0 out of 5.0
Read: July 3 2016

My first story that I've read by this author. Second in the series, though first to involve two women. Other involved a man being dominated. And wasn't free. The two things lead me to not reading it first.

An 18 year-old woman named Candy has decided to visit a dominatrix. She is not experienced in BDSM play. The dominatrix is named Domina (to bad her last name isn't Trix, eh?, but then mabye it is. Domina Trix).

First off - the story opens with Domina giving Candy a run-down of the session that's going to occur, and mentioning that she - Candy, is the one in control. By way of using or not using safewords. Nice to see something like that in there. So many just leap in and start being macho dicks to the person they wish to dominate.

Heh. I got pulled out of the story briefly by 'titties.' heh. 'Candy began removing her tee, revealing a pink, lace bra hiding perky tities.' heh.

Anyone reading along behind me know that this isn't a romance. This isn't light and fluffy. Nor is it extreme - it's not some girl who has been kidnapped by some rough people, no this is a bondage session. With a dominatrix. I assume money is involved. There's roughness, whipping, spanking, slapping, some choice word usage - all part of the game.

Of note - I dislike when stories like this call the dominatrix 'master'. Or some word similar. Pulls me out it does. She should be Mistress, no? mmphs.

'love cave' - bah.

'lick my asshole' - ewwwww

'sucked the taste of butt hole right off her tongue' -eeeww ewwew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwww

'it's a hot water enema' - and I'm done. I'm out. Fuck this shit (heh).

Without the butt stuff, then the enema, this would have been a solidly 4 star erotic story. But with all that . . hmms. They be something not liked by me. No way, no how.

This story was 5 AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long songs long (the story mentioned the domme humming that within the first couple of paragraphs, so I played it). 5 x (3:30 play time, 3 times 60 + 30 = 210 seconds) 210 = 1050 seconds = 17.5 minutes

July 3 2016

Triad Blood by Nathan Burgoine

Triad Blood
by Nathan Burgoine
Pages: 240
Date: May 1 2016
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Series: Triad Blood (1st novel in series)

Review
Rating: 3.0 out of 5.0
Read: June 16 to 19 2016

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.

My first book by this author.

I’ll start off by noting that I went into the book somewhat reluctantly and with the wrong information. I’m not sure where I got the idea, which was clearly wrong, but I had the idea that this book was not erotic – something like how ‘the sex’ was in the pre prequel short story. That idea was wrong. Where-ever it is I got that idea (probably from reading reviews/description of some unrelated book that I accidentally confused for this one). I was reluctant because up to a certain point, I believe it was this year, I have not had much luck with MM books. And I do not believe I’ve ever ‘loved’ an MM fantasy book.

Hmm, no, my first 4 star MM book was read July 2014, not this year. That one was a private investigator graphic novel. Then I liked the first two Tom Mason and Scott Carpenter prose mystery books in early 2015 (4.5 for 1st book, 4.0 for second). Love for the Cold-Blooded, or the Part-Time Evil Minion’s Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero is my first 5.5 star (out of 5) MM book that included lots of sex – that one was read in October 2015. Loud and Clear would mark my second 5.5 MM book, though there is no graphic stuff in that book. So I’ve come a long way from 1 starring that overly erotic MM fantasy book way back when.

I say all of the above to note that I’ve read 31 MM books now, some I’ve not liked, some I’ve loved, and some were meh. So I can fairly well note that it is not actually the line of eroticism in the book and the graphic sexual encounters which lead me to a 3 star rating, though they did not necessarily help. No, it was the relatively simple part wherein I just simply did not like any of the characters that much.

There are three main characters, and all three have their own little stories that get followed separately, in addition to the overall three-person main story. Luc Lanteigne is a vain, arrogant, snobby vampire who doesn’t really like one of the three people in their triad – Anders. Luc doesn’t particularly like Anders for several reasons, though his rough personality, and shabby appearance probably doesn’t help. Anders is the kind of guy who literally feeds off of sex, what with being an Incubus, while at the same time the kind of guy who gets super jealous if Curtis Baird, the third member of their triad, ever hints at dating. Anyone. (Not that Luc is better in that regard - though somewhat less highlighted in this book, Luc sometimes gives off those same possessive vibes towards Curtis; plus he is super patronizing towards Curtis). So, Luc’s a snob, Anders is a dick, what about this third member, Curtis the human wizard? For the most part he was likable, in his own way, though there were parts that I didn’t particularly like. Like his going with the idea that he isn’t really allowed to date (even if that is not overtly mentioned), while the other two in the triad seem to go out nightly to fuck. Others, not each other. Then the time he outright laughed at a guy who indicated that he was not gay . . . well, that was annoying.

So, how did I end up here at a 3 star rating, then, if I say all that above *waves upwards*. Well, the story itself was interesting enough. Luc, Anders, and Curtis have come together as three separate ‘things’ to create a power triad – every other ‘group’ out there are of one thing (vampire, demon, wizard). Though their coming together is told in a previous short story (yes, this is in fact yet another book I picked up in the same month that turned out to be a series book that is not in fact the first in the story-line, though here the novel is the first novel length work in the series (if there is a series, I notice just now that this book is not listed as being part of any series on GoodReads). Still, the reader who hasn’t read any of the previous short stories (and there were others than just that ‘getting together’ story) should be able to pick up enough of the back-story through reading the book. I know I did, and hadn’t read any of the previous stories.

So, as I was saying, the story itself was interesting. The other ‘power groups’ in Ottawa are not particularly happy about this mixed group and are ‘doing things’ (letter bombs, car explosions, coat explosions, etc) to try to take out this mixed triad. Though ‘doing things’ while at the same time saying that they are not. The triad stands up to the vampire power structure in this specific book.

A good enough book for what it set out to do and be. Even if I didn’t particularly like the main characters that much.

June 20 2016

Loveday by Kristy Flowers

Loveday
by Kristy Flowers
Pages: 267
Date: June 30 2015
Publisher: Self
Series: N/A

Review
Rating: 2 out of 5
Read: February 21 2016

My first story by this author. Another adult choose your adventure. Well, 'Interactive pick your path'. Not sure if it's choose your adventure yet.

There tend to be two types of 'interactive fiction'. The kind that has lots of 'choose A, B, C, or D', and the kind that has maybe three choices left up to the reader in the whole book. I prefer the many choices version. Guess I'll know shortly which kind I'm facing.

Okay, first off: yay, the 'you' is female. Secondly - historical fiction mixed with mystery/revenge/graphic sex. Let the fun begin . . . or something.

Hmms. So, not a 'you choose'. At least, so far, not a you book. Following, I am, Lena Sherwood. At least in the prologue. Maybe it become you later?

Wait. This is Victorian historical fiction. 1837 to 1901. First car in England - 1895. One of the people in the story was 'waiting by the car'. So, this would have to be set at some point between 1895 and 1901.

Right, so - the Blackwood family was expanding, aggressively. The Sherwood family was in their way. So, they invited them over and killed them. All except for Lena Sherwood and her brother. Saved by the driver, Thomas, those two. Who had taken, recently, in slipping into Lena's bed.

So far certain awkwardness in wording, and spelling. Using 'safe' instead of 'save.' Etc. Really really awkwardly worded. Bah.

Gah. So bloody wordy. And before I even got anywhere, despite everything that's happening, I kind of hate Lena. Was that the intention? Possibly.

So, my first choice came up. My choice was 'Continue'. Just that. Hmm. Yay? Naturally I choose . . . continue.

And now I hate Lena even more. Yeah, this is more of the second type of interactive novel. I'm not in control of anything. And now, trapped as I am, I'm forced to watch the moronic Lena make out the Butler so that she can get a position she stupidly made herself overqualified for. bah.

Ah, my second time able to make a 'choice'. This time there's actually options. Three options. Observe one of the three Blackwoods living at the estate. I decided to investigate the woman first.

Hmms. (1) Lena has mentioned that she's visited the place before; (2) her brillant undercover work consists of dying her hair and changing her name. hmms.

Bah, my distast for Lena continues. Also: "Lady Edith...do you do this all buy yourself?" - the mispellings keep pulling me out of the story. (As I'm sure my own mistakes are pulling people out of the review).

Third choice. Continue working with Edith, or go bug the other two. Naturally I continue with Edith.

Yeah, another choice. "click here to continue". Do I choose to click, or do I . . . stop reading the book? Oh, what should I do, what should I do . . ..

The sex is annoying. The choices are few. And I have no control. I'm bored.

'How unusual. I didn’t notice it yesterday, but Lady Edith was already working in the garden before I even came. This meant that she had woken up even earlier than the servants - how unusual. It wasn’t uncommon for members of nobility to sleep until noon.' (Kindle Locations 1981-1982). - This paragraph makes no sense to me. I just read the day before. And Lena/Summer working with Edith in the garden. And finding her there. Working. In the morning. Long before noon. And dirty. And stuff.

I was rendered speechless by what she said. I could have never imagined for a lady to say such words. (Kindle Locations 1985-1986). - this book is annoying me. Deeply.

Yeah, this was an annoying book.

February 21 2016

Lure of the Sirens: A Sci Fi Choose Your Own Erotic Story by Callista Hawkes

Lure of the Sirens: A Sci Fi Choose Your Own Erotic Story
by Callista Hawkes
Pages: 476
Date: April 22 2015
Publisher: Self
Series: N/A

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5.0
Read: February 20 to 21 2016

My second story by this author. First one was something like a 'parody', or an erotic version of a James Bond novel. This one specifically states that it was 'Inspired by Firefly, Serenity, Guardians of the Galaxy and Star Wars'.

So . . . let's see what we see, eh?

Story opens with 'you' entering a 'smoky, grimy, neon lit interior of ... [a] bar.' You are in/at at asteroid mining colony in the Altair system. Your ship is named 'the Eclipse.'

Hmms. And, yet again, the 'you' is a male. mmphs. Oh well.

Huh. Most of these 'choose your own adventure' stories have some ability to 'guess' what'll come next. The first batch of choices are just different types of drinks, or asking for information. mmphs. I decide to ask for information. Which leads to me mentioning that I'm looking for work and being tossed over to a guy named Crassus - the wealthiest Roman of all time. But wait, this one isn't a Roman, but some kind of lizard. Oops, there we go. I said 'some kind', now I learn that he has a 'iguana-like head'. So, iguana.

Ah. Getting a job to make a trip in three days instead of 'weeks'. Interesting.

So, apparently on your spaceship is a hot redheaded woman with green eyes. One who likes looking at you with contempt. hmms. 'I really should reprogram you Vanessa' . . . oh, some kind of robot or like. hmms.

Hmm. The sex scenes, at least the choices, are getting repetitive. Wait, what? I'm in the first one, how can they be repetitive? Well, repetitive if I include the prior book. My choices are 'bend her over and take her' or 'have her suck your cock'; my, where else have I been limited to those two choices? Oh! I know! The other book I read by this author.

By the way, since learning that Vanessa is a droid, I'm having these vague 'eww' feelings. Imagining it's the guy fucking C-3PO. eww. Yeah, I just can't do it. Back tracking to 'no, I'm not fucking the machine!' choice.

So, back to leaving the astroid colony. Whereupon I immediately deviate course to answer a distress call. Now I know I'll end up frozen by Jabba the Hutt *nods*.

So far the sex is kind of boring. Odd, that. I found it mildly entertaining in the other book. Maybe more than mildly.

I hate when there's a stupid choice that's made and I've no way to alter it. I mean, this is a 'choose your own adventure', right? bah. Tis stupid to split up on a creepy huge ship.

Hmms. Now it's turned into Space Balls.

Okay, now I've gone down every path. Sad to say, but I liked the other book more than this one. Still, it was interesting, even exciting in places. So, still a good read.

February 21 2016