Speed Demons by Gun Brooke

Speed Demons
by Gun Brooke
Pages: 264
Date: November 1 2012
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Series: None

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5.0
Read: July 27 2016

My fifth book I've read by this author. Giving this book 4 stars brings my average rating for books read Brooke to 3.5. A far fall from the first book I'd read, or the rating I gave it, 5.5. The 3.5, though, is actually an increase over my previous overall rating of 3.3 for the combined average of the four books read before this one.

I've recently been testing some of those authors I'd somewhat pushed to the side along the way for one reason or another, and found some good things, which is how I ended up reading this book here.

So, what can I saw about this one . . . hmms. Evie is a race car driver on the NASCAR circuit. Blythe is a photojournalist who is doing a photo book about Evie. This is where the book starts. Blythe watches through her camera, then her eyes as Evie races around on a race track in a Dodge Viper. Screaming. Clouds of smoke, flames, crashing explosions – two of Evie’s fellow race car drivers have crashed, and Evie’s right behind them . . . following her pit bosses instructions, going low, until she rams into the side of one of the crashing cars and is herself engulfed in flames. Blythe, who happened to have her camera pointing the right way, keeps pushing the button to take pictures, until she can’t any longer and rushes toward the crash.

The book opens as above. It’s now a year later and the very shy 43 year old Blythe has worked herself up to approach Evie about a proposal – continuation of that book they had been working on, with Blythe following Evie as she attempts her comeback from the tragic accident which had claimed two lives. A certain amount of tension and mistrust occurs, but an agreement is reached. They will continue with the project. This will include some rather close living quarters . . . because that’s just what you do in a situation like this, apparently.

So, while Evangeline ‘Evie’ Marshall is working on her comeback, Blythe Pierce is basically living in her pocket (I’d make a short joke, since Blythe is tiny, but she might gut me – she’s kind of fierce). Certain ‘feelings’ develop.

Meanwhile there are other characters and issues occurring in this book. Family: Evie’s dick of a father and, to a lesser extent (appearance in the book wise), grandfather make several rude snide undermining appearances (Brooke sure doesn’t like father characters); Blythe’s family itself also plays its own little role – well, largely the role being so abusive that roughly 25 years ago, Blythe had to run away. So that’s happening.

Nice enough book. Those looking for detailed long stretches of car racing should look elsewhere. I kind of knew that going in so that did not have an impact on my rating (good or bad). I think I’d rate this somewhere around 3.70 if I still rated using decimals; otherwise this book gets marked as being 4 stars.

July 27 2016

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland by Dave Barry

Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
by Dave Barry
Pages: 256
Date: September 6 2016
Publisher: G.P. Putnam's Sons
Series: None

Review
Rating: 4.70 out of 5.0
Read: July 26 2016

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley, and G.P. Putnam's Sons exchange for an honest review.

If this was a collection of short stories, or a novel or a travel guide (maybe), I’d probably include little bits of information about each story. But this is a humor essay collection. Based around the theme ‘Florida: The Joke State’, and involves little tidbits about why and how Florida became ‘The Joke State’ (became such ~ 2000 Presidential election; thousands of lawyers parachuting in attempting to ‘determine’ how someone someone intended to vote based on how they drooled on their ballot); and the odd, weird, funny things that occur in Florida. The kinds of thing wherein someone can see just a headline, without any type of location mentioned, and just know that the story is about Florida.

The above is kind of why I am not attempting to write little tidbits about each story. All that happened is that I decided to try to provide more detail about something and it was not funny, insightful or clear. What I wrote, not what was in the book.

So I might mention a few things here and there, but will not be that detailed, or that through. It is a humor book. Trying to provide details for such is not fun for anyone involved.

So – one of the stories involves Dave Barry driving out into the swamps and visiting a local tourist attraction that features a ‘Skunk Ape Research Center’. And then driving back to Miami. I’m not sure if it was intended to be funny; I assume so; though it appears more ‘defending Florida’, the subtitle of the book.

Another essay involved mermaid sponges, and the seductive call of the sponges. Well, at least that is the opening. It’s actually about Wiki Wachee, a tourist attraction that involves women swimming around in mermaid tops and tails, and being watched by people. Also, there are water slides, and a wilderness boat thingie. At Wiki Wachee, I mean. The essay also includes other touristy areas reachable by Route 19.

I think I might be reading more of a travelogue than a humor essay book (Dave Barry traveling around to various locations in Florida). Interesting though. With humor mixed in.

It is somewhat difficult to know how to rate books like this one here – humor essays, nonfiction, etc. Should I take note, in my rating, the part wherein Barry noted he was going to cover the whole state, and then proceeded to cover almost only those things within a few hours’ drive of his house in Miami (the almost only is the part wherein he went down to Key West). A few other parts of the state are mentioned, mostly as places that exist, but not visited. I believe, and I could be wrong about this, that everything north of Miami was ignored, except for a mention of Disney and where visitors come from. As a travelogue, I would, in fact, have to adjust my rating because of that. But it is not actually a travelogue – at least not set up to be one, even if the essays contained within might seem that way. So no, I do not adjust the rating because of that issue.

So, the long and short of it is that I’d probably rate this, tentatively, around 4.5 stars. Fun humorous book with a few interesting stories.

July 27 2016

Dear Me by Robin Alexander

Dear Me
by Robin Alexander
Pages: 220
Date: July 7 2016
Publisher: Intaglio Publications
Series:

Review
Rating: 6.0 out of 5.0
Read: July 19 2016

It's after 2 in the morning so I'm just going to note a few things:

1) super funny, kept laughing I did.
2) great bunch of characters
3) So far I've been unable to read an Alexander book without people vomiting in it.
4) I'm unsure which rating shelf this book will land on. If I was putting it on a shelf right now when I'm blurry eyed and half-asleep, I'd add it to my 6 star shelf.
5) I liked both how there were cats in this book, and how one of the main characters added cat manners to human situations.

Come Back to Me by Chris Paynter

Come Back to Me
by Chris Paynter
Pages: 213
Date: September 15 2014 (Orig. Published May 1 2010)
Publisher: Companion Publications
Series: None

Review
Rating: 3.0 out of 5.0
Read: June 12 to 13 2016

My fourth book by this author and first that is not part of a series. The first three books I gave 5 stars to; this one I gave just three stars.

I forget how many years it had been, but two characters meet up again after a longish separation. During college, for a brief moment, Angie Cantinnini and Meryl McClain were lovers and friends.

Prior to their meeting each other, Angie had come out to her family during a Thanksgiving meal (it’s thanksgiving, what are they going to do, toss me out? Yep, that’s what they are going to do) as lesbian. This became the source for a short story that Angie wrote for a creative writing class. Meryl, along with others, critiqued the story.

Using that story as a basis to strike up a conversation, the two circled each other, until the two became friends, then lovers. Then everything fell apart. Because there was a semester break and Meryl decided to come out to her family. Her grandmother, who apparently actually ‘knew’ long ago, screamed at Meryl. The father demanded that she stop being a lesbian. Her mother looked disappointed. Sadly, the family is/was super rich, and the father was the kind to use the power that came with that amount of wealth. And he threatened his daughter that he would destroy the one who had ‘ruined’ his daughter if the two didn’t stop, immediately, seeing each other. By killing Angie’s scholarship. Angie who got tossed out of her home after coming out, and was only able to go to school because of said scholarship. Naturally Meryl couldn’t accept that fate to befall Angie. Then the father said that Meryl would have to change schools. Meryl ‘needed’ to go to that school, so the father gave her a choice – go to that other school, or remain in the current school, never make contact with Angie, and date a specific man the family wanted her to date. Naturally, or not, Meryl ended up married to that man.

All of that above is, for the most part, back-story. For the book opens some years later. I might have known a week ago when I finished the book, but I no longer recall how much time has passed between the college relationship falling apart and the start of the book.

Angie now lives in Key West. She got talked into a particular contract by her bitchy agent – see, she, Angie that is, had written a rather ‘good’ little mystery book. But she couldn’t get anyone to publish it. Mostly because she, a lesbian, had written about a really macho man type character and no publisher believed a woman would be believable/sellable as the author of that type of book. So, Angie agreed to use a pen name (even though that basically meant that Angie was giving away her soul or agreeing to kill puppies yearly or whatever fucking bit of weirdness developed here – basically Angie apparently believes using a pen name makes her an immoral and/or amoral lying horrible bitch . . . or something). But, as noted, Angie agreed with the contract. To use a pen name. And never, upon threat of death (okay, law suit), reveal that she, Angie, was Zach England.

So, that’s what Angie did after the relationship with Meryl imploded. Wrote and sold a few lesbian mysteries, made a tiny amount of money from that, then ‘sold her soul’ (again, apparently, judging by Angie’s reactions about it) and used a pen name to sell a bunch of macho man mysteries. Which pile in massive wads of money, and have a tv series be created based on the series. By the time the book opened, her eighth book in the series has just been released. This is important because the New York Banner has released a review about that book. A negative review. Under the byline of Meryl McClain. Angie’s ex.

So, after splitting up, Meryl did what is obviously natural for a lesbian (there was some comment somewhere that lead me to believe that she didn’t actually fancy men, so that she would not be bisexual, though it has been 7 days since I read the book) to do, she married a man, worked as a professor, then went off to be a book columnist. Her horrid treatment of Zack England’s latest novel is Meryl’s first review while with the New York Banner.

Then, based on several conversations she had (maybe just one with a friend), Meryl looked over England’s books again. Agreed with her initial impression, and review, but noticed something interesting. This macho macho man really seemed to ‘know’ women. Therefore, Zach England must be a woman. Just as the publishers couldn’t believe that any woman would be acceptable to the reading public as an author of a macho man book; Meryl believes that no man could ‘get’ or ‘know’ women like Zach England appears able to do. Therefore – woman. Meryl writes an article based on this thought process – well the England must be a woman part. Then, through a fluke, learns that a specific agent, who appears to mostly just represent Zach England, has a lot of mail that goes to and is received from Key West. Naturally, this means Meryl needs to immediately go down there and spend a week investigating. Because, again naturally, randomly walking around Key West asking people if they are (1) a woman; (2) Zach England; is the way to find Zach England.

Okay, I do not actually know how Meryl really expected to wander around and find Zach, because her mission got sidetracked immediately. But that appeared to be what Meryl had planned to do. Randomly wander around Key West. For a week. On the off-chance that there’d be some woman there who might really be Zach England. So, as noted, she got side-tracked immediately. Because she ran into a female mystery writer who just happened to live in Key West. Naturally she put 1 and 1 together and got . . . nowhere, because, seriously, she never once even thought that the mystery writer woman she bumped into, who lived in Key West, would be Zach England. That was kind of . . . . dumb.

The only and I say that this only is flimsy, reason that Meryl didn’t look deeper into this female mystery writer is because that writer was, and people probably already know this, none other than her former lover, Angie Cantinnini.

Angie has a weird brain disorder when she learns why Meryl was down in Key West and decides that the best thing to do is to lie to Meryl. Something that is almost cliché, and might even be cliché, in books with this type of scenario, the deceiver/lier/party who gave offense, was ‘just about to’ reveal the truth when the other learned the truth before they could do so. As if that ‘just about to reveal’ is in any way shape or form some kind of ‘get out of jail’ free card. Or, um, something that isn’t a metaphor.

It has been a week. As might be seen from how I’ve written this review, I’m still disappointed might be putting things mildly, angry would put things too severely, but something. I’m still annoyed by how this book unfolded. The way both people reacted and interacted with each other at each step of their relationship – with each other and with their parents.

Well, no matter, I’ll stop babbling now.

June 20 2016

The One That Got Away by Stephanie Motes

The One That Got Away
by Stephanie Motes
Pages: 136
Date: September 30 2013
Publisher: Self
Series: Chris & Liz (1st in series)

Review
Rating: 2.5 out of 5.0
Read: April 14 to 15 2016

‘The One That Got Away’ is the first book that I’ve read by both Stephanie Motes and Grace Moskola. Though it is the third work I’ve read with Motes name on it.

There was an odd kind of vibe to this book. Two immediate issues: the book really felt as if two 17 year olds were having something like a summer fling (though both used words indicating that they didn’t wish to have just a summer fling) in between college semesters (based on how the two acted, how the parents acted, at the time, and then later when they talked back about that summer). There is a huge deal made about how this was a great summer, a summer to have lived for, romance was in the air, etc. etc. But . . . it really felt like, instead of say three months, all the action seemed to have taken place over an extended weekend. That or, we went from, say, June to August in a flash, indicated by ‘summer is over now’ – I do recall that phrase used unexpectedly at one point. Seemed to be ‘summer’s here . . . *three seconds later* summer is over now.’

Tackling the first of the two ‘immediate’ issues – Christina Williams (heh, I didn’t recognize the name when I was looking at the book descriptions to make sure I got the names right – I didn’t recognize because she went mostly by Chris throughout the book) isn’t some 17 year old between college semesters. She’s a college graduate. It is true that she might be one of those people who graduated early, or something, but let’s just assume, for the sake of it, that she is between the ages of 21 and 22. I’m not actually sure how old Elizabeth Baker was supposed to be during that summer, though I guess she was supposed to be about the same age? Though her interactions with Chris seemed to make her seem younger than Chris somehow. Now granted 21/22 isn’t exactly a huge difference between it and 17/18; but one is considered fully adult, while the other isn’t even considered capable of being allowed to drink (depending on the legal jurisdiction).

Now the first ‘issue’ probably is my own fault for seeing them acting younger than I’d expect them to act. The second one . . . maybe I accidentally missed a section or something? I’m fairly sure I read everything, though, so I can’t pin this one on me. This ‘great summer’ fling appears to have occurred over a longish weekend, at least going by the activities that occurred. Which makes their abrupt and somewhat random decision to run away together seem even more bizarre.

Bah. I kind of distracted myself there. I’m not really sure what I’m attempting to write up above so let’s just skip ahead.

The book involves Christina “Chris” Williams and Elizabeth “Liz” Baker.

Chris is the daughter of a Senator, comes from a family with a lot of money, and has money of her own from a trust set up for her. When the book opens, Chris hasn’t really fully grasped the fact that others might have money issues. This comes up here or there. She’s a college graduate, but while there are aspects of her own independence attempting to shine through, she is still mostly under the thumb of her parents – at least at the start of the summer. Chris, her brother, her parents, and the siblings girlfriends are vacationing in a town in Florida. I say that the brother’s girlfriend is there as well, because comments are made about both of them having their girlfriends there. At some point, though, the brother leaves to go to training camp to prepare for the NFL draft, and presumably the girlfriend left as well – though the reader never got to meet that specific girlfriend (unless she is the same one that pops up when the brother returns for some party or other; though that woman isn’t the woman Chris spots going into the brothers room).

Leslie, though, is seen. She’s the long time girlfriend of Chris. There are even some POV scenes from her perspective. She comes from a well-to-do family, and is acceptable to Chris parents. She’s also in love with Chris, while Chris seems to have either never been in love or fallen out of love with Leslie. At some point she is sent packing by Chris. But that’s after Chris fools around with Liz. That’s right – Chris cheated on Leslie with Liz. Chris seems to feel bad about how everything went down, but also that she had the right to do it (though she did weepily explain things after the fact; or was it just Leslie who was weepy?). Numerous times Chris makes comments about what a jerk the brother is turning out to be now-a-days; wonder if Chris happened to ever look in a mirror, eh?

Liz Baker works as a waitress for a horrible horrible man who steals her tips in a somewhat run-down seafood restaurant in the town in Florida that the Williams family is vacationing in. She is a townie, and knows that vacationers look down on her kind. So she normally attempts to avoid vacationers. By vigorously throwing the Frisbee on resort beaches, but whatever. She at least says she normally tries to avoid vacationers. Oh, and to get back to that horrible boss? That’s Liz’s step-dad. Buster.

While Chris is experimenting with the concept of not always obeying every order her parents sent her way, by not going to the brunch, she is literally run into by a presumably bikini clad girl. Hell, for all I know she’s naked. Was her clothing described? Bah, it probably was and I just don’t recall now. No matter – the woman that ran into Chris is Liz. They start to hang out together. Candace, Chris’ mom, attempts to ‘make trouble’ for the pair, since Liz isn’t from a ‘respectable’ family, but the two still date.

Then . . . stuff happens and it’s something like ten years later and neither has seen the other, directly, since then.

Several issues, I have, with how they meet again – beyond the concept that neither went out of their way to push further to try to get to each other after the ‘incident’ occurred, neither were to blame for their separation. Yet, when they get back together, something happens that seems to happen too often in books like this. One’s pissed off, angry, unable to ever again trust the other; the other is apologetic and gives every indication that they were to blame – without ever noting that they also had some issues (Somewhere near the end of summer, Chris somewhat randomly suggests that they run off together. Liz thinks she is joking. Chris shows her bank account balance, and then to show she is serious, adds Liz to her account (which has $20,000 in it). They plan to run off to NY and live together. There’s some long ass break between making these plans and leaving (for whatever the fuck sake; seems to have been there so that there could be both advance notice given to the parents (by third parties), and an intervention by one of the parents). Chris is at the airport. She’s wondering where Liz is. They were going to meet there. She decides to get some money from the ATM. Using her card (as opposed to her parent’s card). Her balance, as shown, is $0. Chris calls the bank. The bank says that Liz Baker had come in and cleaned out the account. Chris now believes Liz was . . . um . . .money hungry?

Meanwhile, Liz and her gay male friend (and, while I don’t plan to discussing him, I need to take a moment that he initially started off in my mind as a cliché gay man; but he actually was rather well constructed) are frantically rushing to the airport to make the plan. Then they run around the airport looking for the correct gate. Find the gate. Do not find Chris. Talk to the ticket person to learn that Chris had already left – on a different flight, and not to NY. Liz now believes Chris was just playing her.

Dejectedly Liz returns to restaurant. Whereupon Candace suddenly appears. Gives the deed to the restaurant to Liz. Notes that Chris has a good heart, but is flighty. And that Chris had seen Liz and wanted to ‘save her’. But then her tiny brain turned to something else to play with. So, here’s the deed to the restaurant. Liz now believes that Chris is flighty and untrustworthy.

Chris? Still thinks that Liz stole her money.

Flash forward 10 years. Liz still feels Chris in her heart, but has trouble reconnecting. Because Chris is untrustworthy and flighty. Chris? Absolutely apologetic about how everything that went down. Mentions that she only just learned of the mother’s intervention. Makes no comment about how she had been lead, by her mother, to believe that Liz stole the money. Does not correct the impression that she is untrustworthy and flighty. WTF?

All that apologetic crap Chris got into? It’s as if she was trying to get back together with Leslie – that’s who she should be apologizing to. )

Right. So. I don’t like any of the people connected to Liz except for Buddy the gay friend. I mean from the summer part of the story. Joel and Terry from the second half of the story are good enough side characters. I don’t like anyone from Chris side of the story, except possibly Leslie. I’m not 100% sure I like either of the two leads. They appear a little too immature, even at 32 in the second half of the story.

April 15 2016