Vanishing Fame by Selina Rosen

Vanishing Fame
by Selina Rosen
Pages: 328
Date: June 20 2014
Publisher: Yard Dog Press

Review
Rating: 5.5 out of 5 stars
Read: June 11 2015
This story was something of a roller-coaster. And quite frankly I was a little scared of it. In an odd little way. I just felt that there was no way it could have a happy ending. I mean, there's this happy moment at something like 16% into the book (16, 9, 11, whatever it was). And I knew, that was too bloody early for such a moment. Unless bad things were about to happen. And I was right. The little roller coaster car the reader was in was at a high point. Then whee . . . falling quickly downwards. Then up again. And down.

I'm being somewhat purposely vague. For the most part I loved the side characters. And, for the most part, I loved the main characters of Jessy and Joan.

I don't normally particularly like the "love at first sight" type of story, but here it had to work that way. Because of the people involved. Jessy is a hermit, because of events in her past she had to get away. She's spent, basically, six years up on a mountain by herself building a massive lovely home. Joan's a self-proclaimed rude bitch who must try everything, at least once. Including every kind of man out there. Striving to get that itch scratched that never seems to actually get scratched.

That, above, is a false impression on one level. Jessy had been a hermit. But had been dragged out on tour for several months by the time she bumps into Joan. Naked. In her . . . hmm, I suddenly can't recall if it was called a hot tub or not.

But I was mentioning why it had to work this way, love at first sight. Jessy had been burned way too often to allow herself to try to get close again. Hell, one of the reasons, not sure how high or low this falls, but one of the reasons she agreed to go out on the road again was, to put it crudely, is for pussy. Out on the road for months. People screaming in joy that she's back again. Out there. Throwing underwear at her. And . . . even though she keeps saying that she's just about to go have fun with groupies, or something like that, she never actually does so. Because she doesn't want to be burnt again.

So, basically what I'm saying is that the only real way that a relationship could suddenly develop would be through love at first sight. Lust at first sight certainly wasn't going to do it.

Course, that's one of the reasons I was somewhat scared about the book, after I started. Two reasons. One, I came to like Jessy and knew that if something bad happened, Jessy would become unglued. Two, Joan's one of those women who didn't realize that they might actually be a lesbian, and once realize such, didn't want to admit it publicly because of fear for their career. And Jessy has been burnt many times, well two times, by getting into relationships with women who don't want to admit, publicly, to be in a relationship with Jessy.

Right, so, Jessy James was born in a rat infested building. Was found at the age of three hiding in her closet, nearby was her dead decaying mother who had been killed, probably, by one of her "tricks". Mother having been a junkie prostitute. Tossed around in the system, Jessy eventually made it, too late to a certain extent, to a good couple. Who bought her a real drum set. One thing lead to another and Jessy and her band, Tidal Wave, became massively popular. Rode the wave for about five years then imploded. Mostly because every other band member got hooked on drugs. And Jessy's lover of the time died in a exploding car. A car driven by this lover into a pole. Around this time, Jessy gets hit by a drunk driver. Gets put into a walking cast. Gets dumped by a different girlfriend who couldn't admit to being a lesbian and returned to her husband. After all of this, Jessy had to get away. Story opens six or seven years later with Jessy living on a mountain in a home-built home. Watching television. VH1 to be specific. And randomly stumbles across the story of her own band. And life.

Hmm. That's a wall of text if I ever saw one. Was going to mention Jessy, then Joan, but bah. It'd just be another wall of text. So.

Jessy - fabulously talented singer/songwriter/hermit in hiding last 6 years.

Joan - fabulously talented singer/actress/songwriter with a reputation of being flightly in romance, hooking up with everyone.

Jessy + Joan = ?

Loved the book. Though, as I've mentioned, I was on edge and scared everything would be ruined.

Under My Skin by A.E. Dooland

Under My Skin
by A.E. Dooland
Pages: 688
Date: October 15 2014
Publisher: Author

Review
Rating: 5.0 out of 5.0
Read: June 9 to June 10 2015

Right. I've been letting myself down review wise. So, let's see if I can put anything here.

The story is about Min Lee, a worker at Frost International located in Sydney Australia. Working as a marketer in the diamond division. Somewhat unexpectedly, Min is made a program lead on a secret project with a small team. Highly confidential. Very stressful.

Meanwhile Min's boyfriend, Henry Lee (no relation, Lee's a popular Korean name), works in the HR department at Frost International. Has a psychology degree. Is very patient and understanding. Apparently visits Korea a lot, and while there, visits Min's mother. Min's mother keeps pressuring Min to marry Henry (not that Henry has actually proposed or anything). Henry and Min date, every once in a while see each other at the office, and even less often, about once every three weeks or so, have unfun, disagreeable sex. Because Min feels it's expected to do so.

Min has one friendly acquaintance/friend at the office. One Sarah. Sarah's always trying to drag the workaholic Min out for drinks and the like, but Min is always busy. Too busy.

Not too busy, though, to occasionally paint. And upload paintings to DeviantArt. And interact with users through comments and private messages. Which is important to this story on several levels.

One night, feeling inspired, Min paints. Uploads picture. Min doesn't normally paint people, but did this time. Titling it something like "self-portrait". Goes to sleep. Wakes up to hundreds of comments and notes. Most from women gushing over the painting. Both in how much they like the painting and how handsome and attractive the man is in the painting. Flirting with Min. Since it is Min, right? What with labeling it with the title given.

Course, Min's somewhat confused. Looks at profile picture. Realizes/remembers had, at some moment of this or that, removed gender indications. Min keeps almost deleting the painting, taking it down. Doesn't like how it appears to be misleading people. For Min is in the body of a woman, not that of a man.

A certain amount of mounting tension builds from having uploaded that painting. And then, Min uploads a new profile picture. Clearly showing that Min is a woman. A picture taken by a coworker when a group were out celebrating the end of a project. The picture shows How tall Min is, how serious. Against the backdrop of drinking/drunk coworkers. Oddly the positive comments continue.

And then Min leaves a little earlier than normal. Waits at a crosswalk. Hears two high school aged girls giggling behind her. Looks back at them. Notices they are gazing at her. Min feels quite uncomfortable. Much more so when they start loudly saying things. Then one bubbly chatty one finally bounces over and demands to know if it actually is Min Lee. The artist. Apparently (1) Min uses own name on DeviantArt page; (2) the two schoolgirls had used the internet to track down Min Lee.

One thing leads to another and Min Lee finds herself in a super expensive restaurant with her young female stalker. Who talks a mile a minute. About everything.

I haven't yet noted that Min Lee almost always dresses up. Wears nice jewelry. Make-up. Skirt or dress. Almost never pants. With massive high heels Attempting to look very feminine. Unless at home alone, when she wears comfortable clothing. Which is important on two levels. One, Min hates having to look feminine and drag on the bra and skirt and all that. Two, Bre, the schoolgirl stalker, makes a comment that drives Min to flee the restaurant. A comment about how the super tall woman doesn't look . . . right in the outfit she is wearing.

So, while highly stressed at work, and while being stalked by a bubbly schoolgirl, Min begins to seriously think about how she might really be a he. And, after certain interactions, maybe is attracted to women. I mean, Min accidentally kissed another woman while drunk. Found it quite pleasurable. Much more so than anything she gets from Henry.

The story unfolds. Lives, careers, relationships shift, tense, explode, come together. A quite good story. Several times I thought Min might be too depressing to continue to follow, but I'm glad I did. And, oddly, I came to really like Bre. Despite her baggage, bubbliness, flightiness.

Other than side characters, this is the first transgender novel I've read. First with a lead transgender lead character. I'd recommend the book. Apparently there are other things by this author, well, not apparently, I've seen them, but none up on GoodReads. They are all over on a blog. Including a sequel to Under the Skin. I found it difficult to try to read in that setting, so I hope the sequel finds it's way to published status at some point.

Off Screen 1-4 by J.A. Armstrong

Off Screen
by J.A. Armstrong
Pages: 86
Date: March 12 2015
Publisher: Author
Series: Off Screen #1

Review
Rating: 5.0 of 5.0
Read: June 4 2015

I wasn't sure what to expect with this short story. Everything seemed to indicate, everything being the reviews and the description, seemed to indicate a "sweet slow story". With some seeming to imply sappy sweet, overly sweet. Maybe sickeningly sweet.

All of which through me off guard for when I actually read the story. I mean, bloody hell. I think I might be a little in love with Em and Addy myself, and I'm just the reader reading a fictional story. And a "sweet slow story" doesn't lend itself to imply in my mind "exciting graphic sex scenes."

This was a fun little story on many levels. I got the next three stories in the series before I even read this one. But now I'm kind of scared to read the next one. I mean, I read this one, I don't want to be let down. It could be said that I'd always have this story, if any future one disappointed me. But that isn't the fear. The fear is that something would be done or said that would cause me to reinterpret this story in a displeasing way. But enough of that, and enough of this "review".

The Red Carpet
by J.A. Armstrong
Pages: 103
Date: March 19 2015
Publisher: Author
Series: Off Screen (2nd in series)

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5
Read: June 4 2015

Another in the Addy & Em series completed. Another lovely little story. So, why four instead of five stars? Boils down to sex. Too much of the story was turned over to that. I didn't really have a problem with that in and of itself, more the percentage of sex scenes vs story scenes. Which basically means that this might have been another five star effort if it was something like a 155 pages instead of 105 (or however many pages it is actually). With the extra fifty pages filled with story scenes.

Balance is important. On the other hand, the level of potential drama and angst gets cut down when fewer pages are giving over to story scenes. I certainly wouldn't want to ramp up drama or angst or whiny-ness or anything like that. There's a certain amount of tension in this specific story, a certain amount of drama, but the right amount. hmms. I guess they could have had a pool party. Or gotten a cat. I don't know, just some extra bunch of story scenes to balance things out. hehe.

Dim All The Lights
by J.A. Armstrong
Pages: 80
Date: April 22 2015
Publisher: Author
Series: Off Screen (3rd in series)

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5.0
Read: June 4 2015

Another good story. Another one where the sex scenes overbalance the book. Though this time there is a layer of . . . . I guess the best word to use would be "disappointment."

A problem with reading these short stories all in, more or less, one go is trying to remember exactly which event happened in which story. I know this one has Addy and Em going on the road to promote their new show (Addy as writer and producer, Em as actress on the show). Ah, one of the "disappointments" I was thinking of actually occurred in the previous story. Ok then, so the disappointments in this story involve miscommunication, overhearing things - incorrectly, etc. etc. Mostly miscommunication.

It's all well and good to be better at communicating through touch, but some thoughts and ideas actually require words to be used. Love it or hate it, but Em seems to communicate better through touches, and showing, and less on words, and while Addy is better with words, she still allows herself to become distracted from problems through touch, sex. So some issues build over time.

I suppose the only other thing I could note in this rambling "notes to self" is that Tam has her own girlfriend in this story, though she keeps constantly pointing out that Chris (it's Christine, right?) isn't her Em, and she knows that she, Tam, is not Chris' Addy. As in they love each other but not love each other. Tam and Addy kind of look at each other at this point when Tam tells Addy this and apparently the message is conveyed. I didn't really get it, but whatever.

Writer's Block
by J.A. Armstrong
Pages: 91
Date: May 17 2015
Publisher: Author
Series: Off Screen (4th in series)

Review
Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Read: June 5 2015

I've been quite happy that I've been able to find something to put in this little box so often lately. But, I don't know what to put here now.

Part of the story takes place with Em and Addy apart, part of the story takes place with the together. What I write will be spoiler for series, but not for this story. Heck, the first chapter title "gives it away". And so . . ..

Story opens on Emmie and Addy's wedding. They get married in a wheat field, apparently. Tam and Chris are there. As are Em's parents, brothers and in-laws. If anyone connected by blood to Addy was at the wedding, I didn't notice them being mentioned. Only thing I noticed was some off-hand comment about how Addy's father was quite angry at Em at some point. It's not actually mentioned, so I guess I just have to assume that Addy's family isn't "alright" with the marriage.

Right, so. They marry. Honeymoon. Shortly thereafter Em's off to London and Paris for a part in a movie, while Addy's back working on that show titled "Off Screen" (I never did mention the show, and not sure why I would now, as a reader should already know about - as in I hope no one's reading this here review before starting the series). The show involves two women in love with each other in the 1950s. It was a love letter from Addy to Em. Hollywood being Hollywood, the higher ups at the show forced Addy to add a man as a beard, a husband to one of the woman on the show. I mention all these to note 1) Addy has writers block; 2) a week into that block the higher ups come over and say that the man and woman married on the show will have an intimate moment. Addy is quite pissed off by the suggestion.

So, this story circles around (1) marriage; (2) whether or not Tam and Chris have some kind of relationship or not; (3) Addy and Em separated by work (first with Em in England and France, then later with Addy suddenly getting inspired to write something or other and therefore being something of a ghost in the house when Em returns); (4) problems with work, i.e., the show.

Another good addition to the series. More balanced this time, sex and story scenes. By the way, I know that what they have is "love" not "sex", and that Addy has several times noted how they don't have sex. I get it. I'm going to call it graphic sex as graphic love could be an intimate a candle light dinner, or anything and everything.

As I conclude the last story currently available in the series, and foresee a longish break before another story pops up, I note that if this had been packaged together as a book, I'd probably have rated the whole thing as 5 stars. As all the imbalances I kept noting in my reviews of other parts, would not have been there. Would have been a lovely coherent balanced story. As it is . . . I'm not really sure what I'm reading here. Was there some plan at some point re: serialized novel? Or was it always going to be a series of interconnected short stories? Long short stories. I think the shortest was about 80 pages. As of now, the whole work is 360 pages in length.

"Daite."
by Hildred Billings
Pages: 233
Date: September 27 2013
Publisher: Barachou Press
Series: Jiai Jouwa (first in series)

Review
Rating: 4.5 out of 5.0
Read: May 9 2014 to May 28 2015

Well. This book of only 233 pages took me 385 days to read. Friday, May 9 2014 to May 28 2015. Oh, I can see, on here, wherein I had marked when I had started reading the book for the first time. So, 385 days and 6 minutes. heh. Apparently I began in May at roughly 3:34 pm, ended in May at roughly 3:40. A year and 20 days later. (huh, odd, when I add the time, I lose a day, yet I finished 6 minutes after I started).

That's actually both technically true and technically untrue. I read from 5/9/14 to 5/25/14, paused, then started up again on 5/28/15 and ended same day. Read the first 41% in 2014, and the last 59% today. All because I couldn't stand the main character's actions. heh.

The first part involved Jun's whiny nature, plus exciting stuff with Saya. I said at the time I read part one "not sure how the rest of the book will go, but first 17% was definitely 5 star stuff. I kinda fell into a trance, I did." Then the Jun's whinning got even more on my nerves in part two. And I finally couldn't take it anymore and stopped. I read part 3 and 4 today (or however many parts come after the second part). Part 3 made me think Jun was a whiny nasty bitch who could think of nothing but sex, drinking, how to get ahead at her job (or, specificially, get named to inherit the chairman's role), and how she wished she could be in a relationship.

At some point in part 3, then throughout the rest of the book, I relearned Jun and her character and was able to better able to take her. I'd say that the year long gap allowed me to come back, vaguely remember what came before, then restart at the worst possible moment. Where Jun is at her worst. Character wise. Except I have notes about how her whinning was driving me up the wall, and how that was why I had a year long break. So . . at this point . . . meh.

Interesting read on several levels. Including reading a book set in Japan, plus a little something about the lesbian culture there. After that long break, there's no way I could recommend or not recommend the book. I'm not really in any position, now, to do so. I would note, though, that, as the book progressed through part four and the ending, I was beginning to think about how I might read the second book in the series.

I made some comment in my status updates about how I wouldn't wish to have anything to do with Jun, as a relative, as a friend, or as a lover because of how much of a whiny nasty bitch she was. That was a dumbfounded opinion of mine. Spur of the moment. Mostly based on part 3. In the end, I think I actually kind of like Jun.

I feel like I'm on a yo-yo, a pendulum, my thoughts and feelings being yanked around. Like how Jun was yanked around by Saya. We eventually learn why Jun was being yanked around, but, in the moment, Saya was quite annoying.

Suki yo

The Student, The Rogue & The Catburglar
by Laura Gibson
Pages: 290
Date: August 26 2012
Publisher: Author
Series: Sophie Aughton's Diary (first in series)

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5.0
Read: April 17 to May 27 2015

hmm. Another one of those "I've no bloody clue what to put in here" type of . . um . . comments.

I've no real clue what I just read. Over one or more months. I read it because I'd been intrigued by seeing some stuff Laura Gibson had put up on DeviantArt. Roughly similar to this here book. Pictures with captions, though. I mention only to note that I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into when I started . . . and I'm still not really sure.

Apparently this is the "diary" of one "Sophie Aughton". I do not know the school system in England, but I believe she starts the book as a freshman in college. Or the equivalent. Other than every once in a while remembering to actually attend classes and study (actually, I think she did attend and study, she just was late a lot; and fell back on prior learning in moments when she was called upon to explain an assignment that she forgot to do, but had knowledge about from whatever comes before college in England). That was a completely messed up sentence. hmms. Other than attending classes, Sophie attended several clubs, specifically the Live Action Role Playing club, and the karate club. In addition she spent lots and lots of time in an online virtual world.

A shy woman at the start of the book. And mostly at the end. Though by the end she's just embarrased as she does stuff she would have been too shy to do at the beginning of the book. hmms. Is that a spoiler? I keep distracting myself. As I ramble. As the book unfolds Sophie plays at bondage games inside the virtual world, and real life bondage games by herself and with her roommate.

bah. I've no real idea what to put here for this book and instead of anything coherent, I have this. The book took me a lot longer than normal for me to complete. There's a definite beginning middle and . . . well, the end ended with one of those *stares at computer screen, squeaks "that's !"*. To a certain extent there were way too many characters. Especially since so many of them were more than just ciphers. Trying to keep track of them all was hard. In terms of the erotic nature of the book . . . - well, some was exciting, some was . . .well, it was mostly exciting.

Oh, the virtual world. I wanted to get back to that. The action in the virtual world and during the the role playing events were shown . . . . as if they were happening . . um . . .. Hmms. Let me try it this way. Sophie would log into the virtual world as Feline. As Feline, she did stuff. And reacted in a manner as if the action was occurring in real life. Instead of in a virtual reality. Like, Feline ended up exposed a few times, Sophie, controlling the avatar called Feline, became quite embarrased as she was exposed. So, an emotional connection. Another example, as Feline, Sophie did such things as get involved in hogtied races, dance on stripper poles, etc. All described as if she was actually doing them. And feeling them. And being embarrased by them. I'm probably not explaining this well. By "actually doing them" - obviously the avatar is "doing" something when the real life person controlling the avatar does it. What I meant by "actually doing them" can be best seen when Feline was on the stripper pole. Dancing. Getting tips. The person giving the tip made some kind of comment. Feline's dance routine was disrupted by her embarassment. Which . . . isn't what would happen in a virtual world. Well, a 3D virtual world. In a 3D virtual world the dance is preprogramed. The real life person clicks something, the avatar dances - the most that can be seen as controlling the dance is the ability to start, stop, change to a different dance. But the dance is preprogrammed. It's not going to morph, improve, degrade, based on the avatar. If it's a text virtual world, everything that happened would be whatever you typed. bah.

No matter. I've gone and confused myself. And anyone brave enough to reach this point in the review. So . . I'll just skip off to the side now and . . um . . stop typing.

ETA: I was going to make some comment on the virtual world in terms of - which virtual worlds might have been the basis for the one in the book? But, didn't.

The image below is of one of the characters, Sophie I assume, wearing the bunny suit. Well, Sophie wears a bunny suit in the book.

Image from DeviatArt