If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men by The Oatmeal

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing in exchange for an honest review.

I've read several things by 'The Oatmeal', though only one previous book. Most of what I've read I've spotted here or there posted by others in threads on the internet, or in his own twiter feed, and occasionally on The Oatmeal's own website. I've generally tended to find the material to be humorous so when I spotted one of his books pop up on Netgalley, I . . . after a certain amount of time, jumped on it (the hesitation was based on the book being 'just' 36 pages).

So, let's open it up and see if it's any good, eh? The other book I've read by him involved cats plotting to kill you, so it seems fitting for the next book I read by him to be about dogs. Specifically, as the title indicates, comics arranged around the concept of what humor might be found by imagining the author's dogs (author of the book, not author of this review) as middle aged men.

Right, okay now I'll open the book. Or I well when I figure out where I lost the thing. Tabs everywhere, but where art thou book? Found it.

Well so far I've snorted when I saw two men bouncing around acting like dogs, specifically when they sat on the same sofa as another man and licked him. I assume this other man is supposed to actually be human, though it is hard to tell if you make both humans and dogs look like humans. Maybe 'The Oatmeal' should have made the humans look like dogs so it'd be easier to tell them apart?

And now I'm ill. Barfing isn't something I like to see. By anyone or anything. A barfing catepillar would be horrible to watch. A dog that looks like a human who eats too much too quickly and then barfs? Yeah, I'm ill now. Thanks.

Hmm. Then the barfing comic is followed up by watching the middle aged man be coached to stare at another man like shape and stare at them in the eye. Then poop. Yes, the author should have made the humans be dogs or something. I just assume that the boy scout is supposed to be human, but . . . the dogs are human so . . . is the boy scout also a dog? A human? A dog-human?

Oh. Well. Then one of the 'dogs' accidentally goes missing and a 'lost' poster is put up. Noting that a middle-aged man has gone missing. So . . it's not just the readers who see these middle-aged men as middle-aged men. Everyone does. So . . this is creepier than I thought it was. Because these are not dogs who the reader sees as middle aged men. These are actually middle-aged men acting like dogs. As I said, creepy.

Hmm. Then the book is completed. As I noted somehwere along the way, this is only 36 pages in length (though I think the last page was actually not as far as 36 pages in).

So, to recap, I snorted (once), was made ill, felt creeped out, then came to the realization that the middle-aged men were in fact middle-aged men acting like dogs. Not actually dogs that the reader is suppsoed to see as middle aged men. So felt even more creeped out.

Sadly I did not find this humorous.

June 28 2017