Harmony by Karis WalshMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
There was a period of time when I, for the most part, didn’t write reviews. Well, it has fluctuated over the years – there were some longish ago where I tended to review most of what I read, but those years are so long ago I barely recall them (we are talking about the early 2000s, right? Hmms, well, that is roughly 18 years ago depending on when in the early 2000s. Oh good, now I’m talking to myself inside my own review). Cutting a much longer paragraph shorter than it might become – this is one of those occasions when I kind of wish I was in my non-reviewing phase.
This book stars two immature young women. Both have their point of views on display. There are similarities and differences that are easy to spot. Like: both have family issues (Brooke is something of a doormat to her family – they want her to go with a certain boy to prom? Sure, why not? Date him? Okay. Marry him? Why the fuck not? (because you are actually a lesbian and have thought you might be since college?); Andy is less of doormat, but still feels the need to aggressively obey her family – mostly as a stand-between between her mother and very angry father (the doormat part comes in with constantly needing to make sure she doesn’t piss off her father, and actively spend time with them)). Both have no issue what-so-ever with cheating (okay, one did eventually develop a guilt complex, but more about cheating on her ‘other woman’ with her ‘girlfriend’).
Differences? Well, let’s see – Andrea Taylor is open and out lesbian; Brooke Stanton is so far into the closet she’s marrying a man. Also Andy is super neat and organized and Brooke is the messy kind of person.
That’s how the two meet, by the way. No, not because of mess, but because Brooke was going to marry a man. Andrea, along with about 12,000 other music related jobs (tip: unless you are someone like a member of the Rolling Stones, a music career doesn’t tend to pay a lot), works as a musician at weddings. She plays with a quartet. Wait, no . . . Tina, man, man, Brooke, yes a quartet. And Brooke’s wedding is one of their ‘gigs’.
Andy meets Brooke to set up the music for the wedding. Brooke seems cold, unattached to the world around her, and generally completely unlike how she normally acts – though Andy doesn’t know this at the time. Brooke only really ‘awakens’ when she finds out Andy is a lesbian. Whereupon she spends that moment until hours before her wedding thinking about fucking Andy to get being a lesbian out of her system.
So, she does. Thereby cheating on Jake (Jake right?); meanwhile, by giving in to Brooke’s bad seduction techniques (seriously – Brooke tries to seduce Andy in a fake pre-meeting that Andy didn’t know was a set-up; Andy calls her on it, Brooke becomes enraged and flings a lemon into Andy’s eye. Then bluntly asks to fuck. So they do. Because, you know, Andy’s quite . . . heh, not let’s not go down this road) Andy cheats on her girlfriend (described, at some point, as ‘sort of’ girlfriend, though, you know, still girlfriend). So, there we go. The book begins with: a closeted lesbian, who is going to marry a man, spots a lesbian, badly seduces her (how bad is it if it works, eh?), and both parties cheat on others so they can fuck each other.
Despite not having had much interaction with each other, despite not knowing a damn fucking thing about each other, Andy assumes that the mind-blowing sex they had changed Brooke’s world and that they would now become a couple. Because, you know, that’s the natural next step when you fuck someone before their wedding to someone else. Brooke, meanwhile, thought the sex was mind-blowingly good – too good, she wanted a fling to wash this stink of lesbianism off her, but nooo, she had to love fucking a woman – but she doesn’t want to disappoint her parents or Jake, especially since she isn’t really sure if she is actually a lesbian, and if the sex really was that good (it was – I mean to her, I mostly skimmed the sex scene).
I’m now reading another book involving a man, woman, woman love triangle, and that one has graphic depictions of man on woman sex and woman on woman sex, so I do not actually recall if Jake ever graphically fucks Brooke. I think that didn’t occur.
So, where was I, so, Andy assumes the wedding is off, but Brooke is going through with it. A showdown occurs at the rehearsal (which the quartet doesn’t normally play at, but Brooke wanted more time with Andy – I’ve a vague impression this was set up before they fucked). Words are exchanged. Brooke is upset. Andy’s upset. The wedding is still going forward.
Before the wedding occurs, Brooke postpones it, and turns up at Andy’s door. Whereupon one of the most annoying scenes in all lesbiandom occurs. Andy, with apartment door open, looks at Brooke. Brooke wants in. At this point in their relationship (what relationship?), Andy thinks Brooke just used her. Brooke demands to be allowed in. She has, by the way, some luggage with her.
Brooke crossed her arms over her chest. “After Thursday night, I figured you owed me at least that much.”
Andy, naturally, scoffs at this comment. Owes her? After Brooke pounced on her, injured her eye with a lemon, had mind-blowing sex, then just left the next morning like nothing had happened? OWED?
Brooke’s reasoning? Andy owes Brooke because Brooke wanted a fling before the wedding. But . . . BUT!!! THE SEX WAS TOO GOOD!!! YOU RUINED ME! So, you know, you owe me. WTF?
Brooke is let in (somewhat more due to her mentioning she had nowhere else to go). Andy leaves or something. Comes back. Finds that Brooke has kind of exploded all over the apartment. Her clothing is all over the floor. The bathroom is a mess with her stuff. And she’s wearing lingerie. Andy’s apartment before the arrival of Brooke was cleaner than . . . something clean and organized.
*breathes*
Brooke and Andy kind of do, kind of don’t date. Andy keeps doing things that piss Brooke off (as does Brooke to Andy, though Andy is more mildly annoyed; Brooke becomes enraged). And, to be honest, the things Andy does are alarming blinking red lights that should warn people to flee. Like, several times, setting things up for Brooke without once talking to her about the issue ((view spoiler)).
ANDY: I JUST WANT TO HELP!!!
BROOKE: TALK TO ME!! DON’T TRY TO CONTROL ME LIKE MY PARENTS!!!
At some point Andy, while in the middle of fucking her girlfriend (no not Brooke, recall how I said Andy actually had a girlfriend, sort of or not? – she’s fucking that woman, Lyse or something like that), Andy suddenly stops. She keeps thinking of Brooke. She wants Brooke. She shouldn’t be cheating on Brooke with her girlfriend (Lyse)! So . . . Andy’s a serial cheater. Cheats on Lyse with Brooke, cheats on Brooke with Lyse – only feels guilt when cheating on Brooke.
Story-wise? I loathe this story.
Character-wise? I loathe the main characters. And I’m not sure I like the others, though I do not really have enough information – though Lyse (whatever the fuck her actual name is for fuck sake) is a massive bitch – in stories about her, and in person.
You know books that I feel like tossing against the wall/burning to show my rage, whatever the fuck? Yeah, I loathed this book but not to that point. I tend to need to actually like the book, which goes in a horrifyingly bad direction, before I develop those ragey feelings. So . . . 2 stars instead of anything less than 2 stars. Hmm, that means I think the book is okay, if I recall Goodreads’ floater tip thingie. Ah, whatever, 2 stars.
Rating: 2
May 31 2018
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