Good Earls Don't Lie by Michelle WillinghamMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
You know how romance covers tend to show people in some kind of wardrobe malfunction? You know, with a man with a ripped shirt; or just shirtless. You know what the cover here shows? A covered up man. There's a hint that he has a wide open shirt, but since he's turned, it is harder to tell that he's not actually all covered up. Why am I going on and on about this issue? Two reasons: 1) I don't always know what to write in reviews and, more importantly, 2) the two main characters meet with the male main character shirtless. In a garden. Looking like he was posing for some kind of romance book cover (while also looking scruffy, so it'd be a princess type who was flirting with the groom (do they have those?)). Also, that specific man just kept losing his shirt throughout the book. I mean, it’s like he’s the Kirk of Historical Romance (Captain Kirk, who was always losing his shirt on Star Trek).
Iain Donovan (and here I finally realize it's Iain and not Ian, mmphs) has come to England to find a wife. He's one of thousands of Irishmen who've wandered over to England for one reason or another. It's the time of 'No Irish Need Apply' signs in shop windows though, so times are tough for the Irish in England. Ireland? Well, millions are dying in Ireland (actually, I believe it is a total of 1 million died, between 1845-1852; you know how much food was exported from Ireland in 1847? A massive amount, 4,000 vessels carried food from Ireland to English ports that year; the same year 400,000 Irish died of starvation. It wasn't actually a lack of food, Ireland had food, but it was not owned by the Irish (for the most part), and unlike in a similar famine that occurred in 1782, the Irish ports were not closed to keep the food in Ireland "The start of two years of crop failure, during which time distress was successfully relieved by local and central intervention including an embargo on exporting food." The difference? Why did 1 million people starve in a land of food? 1801, Act of Union, Ireland came under the full control of the Westminster Parliament (control? Thought it was a union; 40% of the pop was Irish, but only 105 members of Parliament were, out of 658 (16%)). Iain, though, isn’t like the thousands of other starving refuges, no, while he’s shirtless, dirty, and looks like a charming beggar (and possibly a pirate with his stubble covered chin and too long hair), he is in fact an Earl.
At least that’s how he wakes up to start the book. Yes, thinking about the dying in Ireland, and shirtless. Apparently, according to the time, he’s basically naked, despite still wearing trousers. Well, he’s apparently been robbed. Clothing, money, and, most importantly, introduction letter and signet ring. He has no way to prove who he is. Luckily for him, the place he is going, the place he was invited to go to in England, includes a woman who knows what he looks like. And so he sets out on a journey on foot. Luckily for him, he was almost to the estate he was heading to so it isn’t a long journey on foot.
He arrives to find a woman in a garden. She’s resting, then wiggling. Eventually she notices the ‘naked’ man near her. She continues to wiggle while also attempting to reach for a rake to rake him with. They meet, they talk, and he mentions he is an Earl. She doesn’t believe him. He mentions he was invited. She still doesn’t believe him. He mentions that there should be a woman there who could confirm his identity, the woman having invited him. The woman in the garden, Rose Thornton informs the man that her Grandmother isn’t there, but is currently in Bath. She wants him to leave; he’s not exactly in a good position to leave; she relents and tells him to go to the servant’s entrance and the person there will give him some food and clothing. Then he should leave.
He goes to the door. Her servant carries her to the house. I stop with the summary of the events of the story.
Of importance:
Iain Donovan is also Earl of Ashton (which is in Ireland). He’s in England attempting to find a wife to help him feed his tenants (no, he is not going to kill her and feed her to his people; he hopes she has money). He has no training to be an Earl because his brother was supposed to be (and was before his death), and his mother hid him from outside society (she had her reasons).
Rose Thornton – there’s a reason I mentioned the wiggling; Rose was attempting to stand. She, you see, suffered an illness six months before the start of this book after eating bad potatoes. She lost the ability to move initially, but has slowly regained everything but the ability to walk. Though she keeps trying. Her legs, you see, have gone weak. She’s not just some woman in a garden, though, she’s also the daughter of an Earl – the Earl of . . . um . . . well, her brother is an Earl. Of something. He’s in India, though, along with his friend (who might also be an Earl; there’s a lot of Earl’s in this book). Properly she should be referred to as ‘Lady Rose Thornton’. Her grandmother invited the Irish Earl, but isn’t present. Her mother is present, though, and knew the Earl’s mother. And, as is later noted, the Earl looks a lot like his mother. The mother never meet Iain, though, and is . . . well . . insane. Also present is Lily Thornton, sister.
Grandmother and mother Thornton (I don’t actually recall the grandmother’s name, nor if it is ‘Thornton’), desire to help get Rose and Lily married off. Rose, though, has two issues with that: 1) she was just about to be proposed to before she became ill – so she’s assuming that man will still want her; 2) after she can walk – she’s holding off heading back to London for the season until she can walk again, though it has been six months without that ability. Lily, though, also has an issue with that; 1) she believes herself promised to some guy named Matthew Larkspur – that same guy who had gone off to India with James Thornton; 2) (view spoiler).
So – the story that unfolds consists of Iain helping Rose walk, while constantly touching her inappropriately, kissing her, and basically doing everything icky. Coming close to just ripping her clothing off and humping her, though barely restraining himself from raping her.
Quite good and interesting story . . . up to around 71% or so (61%?) when the ickiness got super icky. Icky? Well, reaching up a woman’s dress and fingering her in the tea room is kinda icky, in my opinion. Especially as she hadn’t asked, nor given permission for such action to occur. Though she also didn’t stop him (sarcastic: so obviously it’s her fault since she didn’t stop him).
Right, so. Sex occurred. Complications occurred (they ‘want’ each other but Rose is . . . assuming she’s almost promised to another; Iain needs someone with money and while Rose might have money . . . she might not – see insane mother; Rose initially couldn’t do anything with the handsome pirate looking dude because she wasn’t sure he wasn’t lying about being an Earl; then she learned he was telling truth; but maybe he isn’t; but maybe he is; that is he isn’t he story line isn’t as prominent as I’m making it out to be).
Side note: wanted to read a historical romance set during the restoration period, which I’ve learned is a much ‘looser’ period in English history, instead read a book set roughly 164 years later - directly during the repressed Victorian age. Mmphs. Heh.
Side note 2: Darn. I wanted to make some comment about how this was the first Irish guy with a title I've read. I've read Scottish, English, and Welsh previously. Though the Welsh one was a prince from before the place was ruled by England.
Rating: 3.77
October 12 2017
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