All I Want for Christmas by Clare Lydon

All I Want for Christmas
by Clare Lydon
Pages: 258
Date: October 27 2015
Publisher: Custard Books
Series: All I Want (1)

Review
Rating: 2.25
Read: September 23 2016

I'm rating this book far off the current average, so it's fair enough to ask 'why'. So I better put something in this review box, eh?

Simple enough reason - and one of the main risks of writing things from only one perspective. In the 'I did this, then I did that' way, deep into this person's thoughts we went. And that simple reason is this: I just plainly did not like Tori, the main character. The others were just side characters during her journey through this book. It is true that it would be accurate to say that there were at least four important characters in this book, but only one has enough 'there' for a reader to get a good idea of who they might be. And, unfortunately, as already noted - I didn't like them.

Those four important characters are: Tori the narrator (27 year old who, because of the actions of a woman who was Tori's last important girlfriend (though not most recent ex), prompts Tori to go down the path this book follows - more later); Holly (27 year old roommate and long time friend of Tori's - to a certain extent a reader, as in me, learned mostly that she's super tall, otherwise I didn't learn much about her in this book); Melanie (the ex who is getting married); and finally Nicola (the woman who Tori kind of thinks of as being her true love - a former BFF (best friend forever) who 'went missing' from Tori's life when they share a kiss at the tender age of 16).

Which leads us to the plot. Picture it, November 25th - a woman learns that one of her ex's is engaged to be married. She, Tori, is currently single. Tori decides that she is going to change this situation - no not go after Melanie, no, she's going to change her single status. She's going to get a girlfriend by Christmas. A tall order considering she has no current prospects. So she goes on a bunch of on-line dating experiences (not sure if it is a positive or negative that none of the dates turned out to be stereotypically bad (or good), nor, for that matter, funny). So that's the plot. Get a girlfriend by Christmas.

This is the book that has lead me to take a break from romances. Because I'm tired of the lead up. That's what most romances are, a long ass lead up to a coupling then poof, let's read another long ass lead up. Which is somewhat ironic since that is why I read this book here, no not for the long ass thing, but because this is the first in a series that involves the same couple. So I'd finally get what I wanted - more time with the same couple after they become a couple. Problem being that I don't want to spend any more time with Tori. I've already spent too much time with her.

One last thought before I go - I might have to stop reading British books. I'm not sure if the things that kept pulling me out of this story were British English things, or just errors. It annoyed the hell out of me that the people in the book kept 'sat' instead of 'sitting'. mmphs.

We were sat on our bench at the top of our hill, looking up at the charcoal sky

- I would have written that as 'we were sitting on our bench . . . '. I'm the person who is wrong here, right? Well, regardless, that sat thing happened 96 times in this book - well no, the word appears 96 times, but then I actually read the omnibus version that also has books 2 and 3, so some of those sats might be in those books.

Holly was sat at her usual table with a few of her workmates when I walked in.

- Again I'm wrong to be annoyed by this, right? Well I'd have written that as 'Holly was sitting at her usual table . . .', but maybe that's wrong in all versions of English. Maybe 'was sat' is perfectly acceptable in American English and every other English out there. *shrugs*

I sat down on the sofa, but couldn't shake the nagging feeling that was sat right beside me.

- and I do not even know what that means. The second sat. What the bloody hell is going on here? A feeling sat beside her? Is that it? Oh. Right. Sorry, that's it. A feeling was sitting with her. A nagging feeling. Right. 'was sat'. Was . . . bloody sat. WAS SAT. AAARRGGGH

By the way, I'm sure the answer that will come back, if anyone does 'answer' my annoyance, would be 'well, that's dialect. The author was writing in dialect, and that's just how Tori would speak.' Fair enough. Bloody drove me mad, but fair enough.

She shifted across the sofa so she was sat next to me to emphasise her point.

- course it wasn't actually used in conversation but in the thoughts. Or something like that. I think these are supposed to be Tori's thoughts.

Forty minutes later, we were sat on a Tube, clutching cups of hot coffee, eyes wide open.

- That's horrible. Get on the train. And someone sits on you. They should have knocked them off. Whoever it was who sat on them. 'We were sat on'. Who sat on you? Was it the coffee. Did the coffee sit on them?

Sorry, I'm just being stupid and petty. I just . . . kind of hate Tori. So . . . I'm being stupid and petty.

Selfish full of herself Tori. Ah well. I have the omnibus so I'll probably read at least the second book in the story. Though I'd not otherwise.

Oh, and the whole Nicola thing was annoying.

September 24 2016