Counterbalance by Aidan Wayne

Counterbalance
by Aidan Wayne
Pages: 79
Date: September 12 2016
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Series: None

Review
Rating: 3.55 out of 5.0
Read: August 12 2016

*I received this book from NetGalley and Riptide Publishing in return for a fair review.*

After reading Aidan Wayne’s Loud and Clear, I was quite excited to see a new story pop up. I was quite eager to read it and was happy when my request was granted to read. I had to hold off, though, since I read fast, this is a short story, and I got the story a lot more than 30 days before publication. But the time had come . . .

So, John, a Texan, works as the guy who works out how to set up the rigging/matting/etc. for the Cirque Brilliance show (he is head rigger). Heh, that’s actually the first time that I noticed that it, was Cirque Brilliance. I just saw Cirque and assumed it was Cirque du Soleil.

Bao, John’s interest, is a new performer with the show. He’s quite talented, has been training since he was a kid, and is from China. Bao, though, unlike Wayne’s first story, does not have his thoughts and feelings expressed through his own point of view, but instead interpreted by John.

This brings me back to John. John, you see, expects nothing can happen with Bao, because John is horribly scarred and can’t believe anyone would see past the scarring to actually want anything to do with him. He is quite taken with the idea. That no one could possibly want him, well, other than those who have a freak fetish. That’s a really annoying reoccurring theme in the story. ‘Bao hugged me; Boa is just a happy kind of guy, and the Chinese are very huggy types of people, it doesn’t mean he likes me; Bao brought me lunch . . .it doesn’t mean . . ; Bao has pulled my pants down and is sucking on my penis. That doesn’t mean anything, he is Chinese, and it’s what they do.’ Okay, all but the last one happened in the story. John is/was scarred mentally and physically, both from the incident where he got the injuries, and from his experiences with others through his life when he attempted to get close to him. So there’s a solid backing for his reactions. It just got frustrating to see it over and over again. To the point that I’m sure that Bao could have done that last thing I mentioned and John would still likely have reacted the same way – disbelieving (except for the part wherein John would have stopped him, but whatever).

Other than believing that his English isn’t the best, there doesn’t seem to be anything ‘wrong’ with Bao. There probably is something, if we could get into his head. But we aren’t in there so, the evidence says: he’s an excitable kitten with no issues or problems other than a vague feeling that his English isn’t the best.

I mention this because we really are on unequal footing here – the reader and the participants. Because all we have are what John sees and feels. It’s hard to know, from this angle, what exactly Bao sees in him. You can only have a guy berate himself, internally, before you just accept that he’s an ugly freak and anyone who is interested is interested because they have a fetish. And no, that isn’t how I came to see Bao; no I came to conclusion that I had no idea why he was interested in John.

I’m missing half the story here. Bao’s half. That frustrates me. Especially since I really really loved the first story I had read by Wayne.

This story is interesting enough, don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to spend more time with the excitable kitten, and less with the super depressing self-loathing John.

I have a feeling that I might have ended up feeling the same way, if ‘Loud and Clear’ had been from, say, Caleb’s point of view only. Instead it was from both Caleb and Jaxon. And while neither was an excitable kitten, Jaxon seemed like a great guy to know, smoothing out any issues I might have had with Caleb (which I only really recall him being something of a stuffed shirt; but this vague recollection is probably wrong).

Caleb and Jaxon had flaws, and positives. John is a self-loathing scarred and scared man, while Bao is an excitable happy kitten – a perfect specimen of manhood (yeah, I can see why John kept asking himself why Bao would be interested in him).

Well. Hmms. Let me see. I believe I would rate this story somewhere around 3.65 to 3.885. As for GoodReads sakes, that would equate to a rating of 4 stars, since we do not have half stars on Goodreads. I reserve the right to switch the rating to 3 stars and keeping the story on my 3.5 shelf.

August 12 2016