Fashionably Dead by Robyn Peterman

Fashionably Dead
by Robyn Peterman
Pages: 323
Date: September 2 2013
Publisher: Author
Series: Hot Damned (first in series)

Review
Rating: 4.0 out of 5.0
Read: January 4 2016

My first book by this author.

This book has all the elements of chick-lit. Deeply connected to family. Filled with humor. Involving a female protagonist of between 26 and 33 (if I recall correctly, Astrid is around 29). Set in the modern day world of Kentucky. Oh, and the main character, plus the potential love interest, are vampires. Sorry, Vampyres. What, being magical creatures moves this outside the realm of Chick-Lit? Well, darn.

So, Astrid is a young (depending on your age when you meet her) woman of 29ish. She has self-proclaimed genius IQ (well, she claimed she had an IQ of 150), but doesn’t really use it. Works as an art teacher at a senior center. She never knew her father, and her mother is a cold icy bitch who refuses to show Astrid any love. Yet, Astrid still strives for it instead of rejecting the bitch.

The book opens with Astrid being moody and depressed. For good reason, her one good relative in her life is dead. Her grandmother. And her mother still acts like a bitch, even at the funeral, wondering why the hell her daughter made her come down to this hick town for ‘this’.

Months pass. Astrid continues lusting after Prada products and huffing away on cigarettes. One thing leads to another and Astrid makes a bet with her best friend Gemma. A bet to quit smoking. She’s tried almost everything but has failed to kick the habit. A thousand dollars is on the line. Oh, and her health. So . . . she goes to a seedy area of the town and visits a hypnotist. She asks for ‘never smoking again’ (or however she worded that) and tosses in ‘never again gaining weight’.

The next thing she knows, she’s wiggling awake in her bed. Blinking, looking around confused. She desperately desires a cigarette. Well, that failed. She lights up a cigarette. Puts it into her mouth. Attempts to smoke. Fails utterly. Hmms, she thinks, there’s a need to be able to breathe that comes with smoking. Being able to inhale and exhale. And she appears to be doing neither. She attempts to inhale. To exhale. Hmms. She hears a voice on the other side of her bedroom door. It’s Gemma. She notes that she appears to have a little trouble breathing. Gemma asks if she has a pulse. ‘Of course I have a pulse!’ *checks, no pulse found* Gemma, oddly, doesn’t appear horrified by the whole thing, but instead to be outrageously excited. She’s weird like that. Oh, and Oprah Winfrey is in her living room. That’s one reason Gemma wasn’t initially horrified, she had had a discussion with Oprah (I’m not Oprah!) before attempting to talk with Astrid. Astrid is a Vampyre. Oh, and even though she can’t see her own reflection, she is informed that she’s super hot.

Astrid then attempts to ‘live’ as a dead person. Or . . something like that. Late one night she decides to visit her grandmother’s grave. (I’m overlooking certain things like the appearance of three vampyres who represent different vampyre houses and extend invitations). Hearing voices, Astrid hides. Three really really attractive people show up. Arguing with each other. Astrid really just loves the butt on one of them. The male one. But . . . these are probably the rogues she was warned about! Naturally she stands up, they spot her, they tousle, she transports herself back to her house and . . scene.

Ethan, one of the three ‘rogues’ and Astrid ‘the new Vampyre’ spend the rest of the book bumping into each other. Hmm, I don’t have time to be more exact, and this really isn’t being fair, but that’s life.

The book was actually pretty funny, and rather entertaining. The sequel appears to be using a plot device that I’ve seen way too often so I’m unsure if I’ll be able to continue, but I did rather enjoy this specific book here.

Oh, one final issue – there is some really explicit and graphic sex scenes in this book. Just an FYI.

January 4 2016