A Date with an Angel: and other things that weren't supposed to happen by J. Judkins

A Date with an Angel: and other things that weren't supposed to happen
by J. Judkins
Pages: 380
Date: April 2 2015
Publisher: Author

Review
Rating: 5.0 out of 5.0
Read: December 29 2015

My first book by this author, and, as far as I can tell, the only book by this author.

At the 37% mark, I had written:
"I may mess everything up, somehow, by admitting this but . . . so far this is the funniest book I've ever read in my life. I can't stop laughing. On the train. In the pizza place picking up pizza. Etc. Please don't turn bad immediately after me admitting this here."

And here I am, book completed, and I’ve rated it 4 stars instead of 5. I have three theories for ‘what happened’. Or at least I did yesterday when I had originally desired to write a review. Let’s see if I recall any of them. Oh, right, I should mention what happened before presenting theories. See, if I had been able to write this yesterday*, I’d have been able to remember this bit here. The ‘what happened’ is that roughly 50 to 60% of the book is literally, and yes I know what that word means, laugh out funny. Involuntarily laughing out funny. Having people give you looks because you are rolling around laughing. While the last 40 to 50% of the book is not.

1) I read all 380 pages very very quickly. Practically non-stop. While also attempting to do stuff, like commute home from work, and walk, and get food. Theory one is that I read so quickly that I became somewhat numbed by the humor to the point that I was no longer able to achieve humor-gasm. (Theory one fails in that there were still moments wherein I broke out laughing, loudly, near the end of the book).
2) Theory one is that I was numbed from reading everything at once so my ability to feel the humor had been numbed. Theory two is that I read everything so fast that the insanity inherent in the book finally overwhelmed me to the point that I was incapable of noticing humor, except on rare occasions, as I battled through the insanity.
3) Theory one posits that I became numb; theory two posits that I became overwhelmed. Theory three takes what has been learned, felt, examined and assumes that the second half of the book was simply less funny than the first.
4) I’ll add in a fourth theory about why the latter half of the book wasn’t as funny to me as the first half had been. Add it in after I’d already written everything else in this review. I, odd as it might seem, saw a lot of similarity between myself and Kim. I had the thought, somewhere along the line, that this would probably be how any kind of romantic relationship would have to occur with me being involved. By accident. And by the insistence of another. But then the character diverged from me and so the antics of the book lost some of their pleasurable elements that had been previously acquired while reading. (Somewhere along the line my brain reminded me of that 7 year relationship I had been in, and then I had an argument with my brain about whether that was real or not; at which point I just shrugged and returned to the book).

All theories might be right. I might have read too fast and been numbed. The insanity might have been more sustainable/bearable if I hadn’t read everything in one gulp. And even if I had taken time, the second half might simply have not been as funny as the first.

From the beginning, though, the book was ‘insane’. A woman who has no social ability is out using her brand new telescope for the fourth time. She got it as a gift. She’s quite bored and figures four attempts are enough. While coming to this conclusion, she hears a sound near her. A sound like pain. With her extensive knowledge from reading, movies, gaming and the like, she suspects the sound might be alien in origin. She investigates. Eventually emerges from the woods to spot a woman near her car. The woman is naked but for a shirt she is in the process of tugging on. Near her is a shirtless man on the ground knocked out. She has two immediate thoughts – (1) Terminator!; (2) must get closer!

One thing leads to another and the woman who is wearing just a shirt agrees to go back to Kim’s place. Kim being the person who had been out with the telescope. The bottomless woman has explained that she lost her memory, and clothing, in a fire. Eventually decides that her name is ‘Angel’, since the guy she knocked out used that word. Kim believes Angel is an alien scout out to lay the foundations for an alien invasion.

Naturally, the insanity of the situation is readily apparent. I’m not really sure how to word this, but I’ll attempt to do so. One of the advantages of the first half over the second half is that Kim’s insanity isn’t overwhelming the plot, or, for that matter, Angel. Once Angel started arguing back in an illogical manner – revealing that she knows that Kim believes that Angel has been attempting to manipulate her all this time, and knows that she always seems to fail when she actually does attempt manipulation . . . once that argument occurred my head kind of exploded. We were doing loop de loops. Circular logic/circular arguments. Kim was insane but it was manageable. Angel was insane, but in a cute ‘person who lost their memory or might be an alien, or possibly a terminator sent from the future to kill all’ way.

There is supposedly a sequel. I’ll likely acquire it as quickly as my greedy little hands can get it and devour it. Hopefully I’ll be able to slow myself enough to enjoy. And, hopefully, the humor from the first half resurfaces. Harder now, though, as the ‘fish out of water’ and ‘we don’t’ know what’s going on’ elements are gone now.

The book is not a five star book; I’d directly or indirectly noted that to begin the review, but didn’t say what it is. Those peeking above the review already know what I rated the book. That’s right, I rated it 4.8 stars. What? We don’t have that ability? Hmms. I might have to raise it to five stars then. As it is closer to 4.8 stars than 4.5 or 4. I just went to so much trouble saying why it isn’t a five star book. I don’t want to have to try to find something else to write there.

This was a really fun book all the way around. From the embarrassments at work, at home, out on dates. The accidental nature of some of the activities. The slow build up of sexual tension. This, I know, is an odd thing to say considering that one of the first things they did when they got back to the apartment was take a shower. Together. Which included Angel soaping up Kim, and Kim returning the favor as she didn’t want to admit that everything was a little weird, because she wanted to keep the alien close, but couldn’t think of what to say, so found herself being soaped up, and soaping up the alien. This book should come with a warning. I was giggling and outright laughing at their antics, and the next thing I knew I was on a train reading a rather erotic scene in a shower involving two women. It was an ‘accidental’ scene, though. This is why I say there’s a slow build up of sexual tension. Because Kim denies any actual attraction to Angel until deep into the process (the process being the romance/book, not process of being soaped up). While Angel was just soaping someone, without knowledge that there is anything odd about that, nor with any romantic desires while doing so. No, that developed later. Rather quickly. A switch got flipped when they were at a restaurant and someone made the comment that they were on a date. And Kim couldn’t think of a quick way to get around that comment. From that moment on, Angel acted like a girlfriend.

Right, sorry, the warning. Two parts: 1) you will make a fool of yourself by laughing loudly. Be aware of this issue if you attempt to read this book where others can see you reading; 2) there are some rather erotic scenes that pop up unexpectedly.

*- the book was so good that when I returned to my apartment with food, I gobbled the food and continued reading. The point, though, is that I literally (my I seem stuck on that being my word of the day or something) tossed my keys when I got inside. Along with all my belongings. Because I wanted to continue reading. The next day I could not find ‘my stuff’. I spent four hours looking for my keys. I eventually found them though too late to actually write my review (so I wrote it today). Did give me the chance to watch the new Star Wars for the first time, though.

December 31 2015